Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, as compared with the number of older people. This essay, analyze the merits and demrits of this statement and the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages and i will providing the reasons and my opinion below.

In many countries, the ratio of older people are less as relatively to young adults. The population of youngster in multiple countries are in large number which has a good impact on there country economic. Adults can contribute more in the economic as compare to elderly people like they can join the army which helps the conutry to fight there emeny's and some adults contribute in the environment as they keep the forest or the envirnoment safe from cutting down. Young Adults can start there businesses which will help the country to be recognize or some adults can work in multi-internatinal compaines and becomes the face of that company or become the CEO or achieved higher post in the company.

Sometimes, youngsters can set an explain for another youngster by winning the gold medal in the international stages and make the country proud. Some adults, set a explain in a way that no one can imagine and the youngster get motivation from it which helps other adults to achive something which will contribute in the growth on the countries economic. Another thing is, that young adults dose not have that much experience, as compared to older people, so sometimes due to this young adults can not take the good or proper decision and get failed or have a huge loss in the business.

In Conulsion, numbers of young adults are incresaed in some countries, which will helps the government in future for not be depended on the older people and can be rely on the younger generation. In my opinion, the yound adults can care the countrie futher and achive new goals for the nation and it will really helps in the growth of that country economic.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the question by presenting benefits of a large young-adult population and acknowledging a disadvantage: limited experience may lead to poor decisions or business losses. Your conclusion also makes your view clear that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, the position is not consistently expressed in the introduction, which says the essay will discuss merits and demerits without directly answering the question. Several supporting points—such as joining the army, protecting forests, and becoming a company CEO—are listed but not explained in enough detail to show how they compare with the disadvantage. Develop fewer points with clearer reasoning and a relevant example. The response contains 21 words copied from the prompt; these are not counted toward the response length.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the ideas generally relate to the topic. Some progression is visible: you first describe economic and social contributions, then mention the possible drawback of inexperience. However, the links between points are often unclear or mechanical. For example, “Another thing is” introduces the disadvantage abruptly, while “Sometimes” begins a paragraph that largely continues the previous benefits. References such as “some adults” and “it” are not always precise, and several ideas are crowded into long sentences. Give each paragraph one clear purpose, use transitions that show contrast or cause, and make references explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “economic,” “international stages,” “motivation,” and “growth,” and the reader can usually identify your intended meaning. However, the range is limited and many word-choice, collocation and spelling errors make the writing less clear or natural. Examples include “set an explain” for setting an example, “face of that company,” and “growth on the countries economic.” Misspellings such as “demrits,” “conutry,” and “achive” also occur repeatedly. Build a reliable set of phrases for discussing population and economic effects, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise, natural collocations would help you express your ideas without relying on repeated general terms such as “good impact” and “helps.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses with “which” and “as compared with,” but complex structures are often faulty and errors occur frequently. For example, “This essay, analyze” has incorrect subject–verb agreement and punctuation, while “the ratio of older people are less” has an agreement error. Other examples include “the population … are in large number,” “young adults dose not have,” and “it will really helps.” Sentence boundaries and capitalisation are also inconsistent, as in the opening and the conclusion. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence punctuation, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and main verb.

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