Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, the population of majority of the countries is filled with more number of young adults compared with older people and I largely agree that proportion of we youngsters is comparatively more than elderly people looking at the present situation.
Country's population may not affect that much whether the citizens are of mid age or even older. We young adults are the one who is responsible for the development of the nation now. The technological advancement has made young citizens to work and gain more knowledege on different activities while older people are considered the paths of every younger people.
Elders are the only one who gives proper direction to we young aduls which we follow till date. There are advantages of having large number of young people in various aspects. The situation which is today can be considered as a reliable advantage because we have the ability and idea to get involved in country's development in terms of economic, social and environmental growth. Eventhough some may argue about more number of young adults may be a threat to the country but young and older cizitens both are equally important in each country.
For instance, my country Nepal has a young prime minister 'Balendra Shah' today. He have been doing a great work and contribution since he bacme the leader of my country. We had much elderly leaders just a year ago and what I feel is it's not about the age or anything other, we local faced problems like corruption , nepotism etc from our leaders although they were aged people.
To conclude, our elders do have many responsibities as they have had experienced many things in life and we young adults are working on it. So I believe the advantage of this situation has definately outweith the disadvantge as we are capable of handling every way of life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You give a clear overall view that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, especially in the conclusion, and you offer relevant points about young adults contributing to economic, social and environmental development. The Nepal example also attempts to support your position. However, the response only partly develops the comparison asked for: the disadvantages are mentioned briefly as a possible threat but are not explained, and the benefits are asserted rather than illustrated with specific outcomes. The opening also shifts toward whether age affects a country, rather than directly establishing why a larger young population is advantageous overall. To strengthen the response, explain one or two concrete benefits and disadvantages, then compare their significance and link the example clearly to that comparison.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, supporting paragraphs and a conclusion, and the ideas generally remain connected to the topic. However, progression between points is not always clear. For example, the second paragraph moves from technological advancement to older people as guides without explaining the relationship between these ideas. The third paragraph repeats the importance of elders before introducing the advantages of a young population, while connectors such as “Even though” do not lead to a fully developed contrast. Some references, including “the situation which is today” and “we follow,” are unclear. Organise each body paragraph around one main point, use clearer links between claims and examples, and avoid repeating the same idea.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “technological advancement,” “economic,” “environmental growth,” “corruption” and “nepotism,” which helps communicate the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, sometimes making the meaning less clear. Examples include “population … is filled with more number,” “paths of every younger people,” and “handling every way of life.” Spelling errors such as “knowledege,” “cizitens” and “definately” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural phrases and check spelling carefully. For instance, describe a country as having “a larger proportion of young adults,” and explain that older people “provide guidance” rather than calling them “paths.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a concession with “Even though” and a relative clause beginning “which we follow.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, agreement and verb forms occur often enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For example, “We young adults are the one who is responsible” has problems with number agreement, while “He have been doing” and “since he bacme” show errors in verb form and tense construction. The opening sentence is also overloaded, making the main point hard to identify. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and separating long ideas into clear sentences; then check articles, plurals and punctuation during revision.
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