Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Currently , some states of the world has relatively a huge number of younger people in contrast to the count of old age persons.

It is a common observation that youth of plays an important role in the development of the country. This could be in any field from laborer to the technical job. From side hawker to the billion dollars business. I personally believe this an advantage for the countries and its younger generation. This has many reasons.

Young people are innovative and they can better deal with the real world situation or what is happening around. For instance, I can simply take example of businesses opportunities around. The world has became a global village. Young people are taking help from the new era technology and they sell their products on one click thousands miles away. The level of energy and enthusiasm is also a mandatory factor which must be mentioned . A Person who is above 60 0r 70 will be having low level of testosterones or other hormones which give them energy to work or to make progress. The are satisfied because they have lived their life to the fullest and are in no mode to earn or learn more. While on other side the youth needs to be settled in life and wish a bright future. They strive and struggle to get something or achieve something in life. This way they can benefit their country in many ways , by providing their services and responsibilities. The make trillion of dollars for their countries and even they can give jobs to each other.

So, older people can benefit the country by using their experiences but this can not surpass the value of the youth and their contribution to their states.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a clear position that a large young-adult population is advantageous, and you give relevant reasons, including innovation, technology-enabled business, energy and employment. The example of selling products internationally helps illustrate your point. However, the response addresses the comparison only partly: the disadvantages of having fewer older people are not explored, and the benefit of older people’s experience appears only briefly in the conclusion. Several claims, such as older adults being satisfied and less willing to learn, are broad and unsupported. Develop both sides more evenly and explain why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, using a specific example or evidence for each main point.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an identifiable overall shape: it introduces your view, develops reasons in a main paragraph, and ends by comparing young people’s contribution with older people’s experience. Some progression is also visible through examples and contrast markers such as “For instance” and “While on other side.” However, most of the argument is packed into one long paragraph, while the conclusion is very brief, so the organisation does not consistently guide the reader through separate points. Connections are sometimes mechanical or unclear, and ideas such as innovation, energy and job creation are not clearly separated. Use distinct paragraphs for the advantages and the counterpoint, and make each paragraph develop one central idea with clear links.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “innovative,” “global village,” “enthusiasm,” “contribution” and “responsibilities.” These choices show an effort to discuss employment, technology and national development. However, the range is uneven, and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, sometimes making the meaning less clear: “youth of plays,” “from side hawker,” “in no mode to earn,” and “make trillion of dollars.” Some expressions are also too informal or imprecise for an academic essay. Aim for natural collocations and precise terms, such as describing young people as a “large proportion of the population” and saying they “generate economic growth” or “create employment.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with clauses, for example the sentence beginning “Young people are innovative” and the contrast introduced by “While.” This gives the response some structural variety. However, control is limited: errors occur frequently in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction, and some make the reader pause. Examples include “some states … has,” “the world has became,” “The are satisfied,” and “I personally believe this an advantage.” There are also sentence fragments, such as “From side hawker to the billion dollars business,” and punctuation is inconsistent. Practise building accurate complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses; check subject–verb agreement and verb forms during revision.

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