Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, in some countries the number of young adults, has overcome the number of old people, Although this situation offers several advantages, it also has some disadvantages.

on the one hand one majour advantage of a majority of young adults is an active society, this is becuase the absent of the inabilities of the old people, in another word, countries who has more young adults will automatically ba enjoying of a labour wide rang and an absolute workforce especially in work fields that require physiacl performace such as military and rural activities Livestock farming , herding and agriculture, as a result the state will always be refreshing and competing in the world race with a very srtong growing economy due to it young people.

on the other hand one significant disadvantage, is that the lack of ancient experineces, this is mainly because of the small number of old individuals and as a result this may directly reflect negatively on companies recruitement precess to be unorganized beacuse of the lack of the experienced old employees and the retraining programmes that supervized by professional old individuals.

In conclusion, the population that combined from a majority of young adults people, has both advantages and disadvantages, but surely the advantages of this situation can overcome the disadavanteges this is because the lack of old people isnt even considered as a problem in many regions but it considered as a progress, for example the state of japan who has been suffering recently from the increase of the old individuals in one hand, and the lack of newborns in the other hand and this turns directly negatively to it economy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: you argue that the benefits of a young population outweigh the drawbacks. The discussion of a larger workforce, particularly in physically demanding sectors, is relevant, and you explain that fewer older people may mean less experience in companies. However, these points are not equally developed. The disadvantage is asserted rather than illustrated, while the claim that a young population makes a country “competing in the world race” needs a clearer explanation of how this happens. Japan is relevant to population ageing, but the example would be stronger if you explicitly connected its ageing population to the economic effects you mention. Develop each main idea with a specific consequence or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion that restates your position. This makes the argument easy to follow at a broad level. You also use signposts such as “on the one hand,” “on the other hand,” and “In conclusion.” However, some connections are mechanical, and several sentences contain multiple ideas joined by commas, making the progression less smooth. For example, the advantage paragraph moves from workforce size to particular occupations and then to economic competition without clearly explaining each link. The conclusion also combines the comparison with the Japan example in a crowded sentence. Use clearer sentence boundaries and connect examples directly to the point they support.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to population and employment, including “workforce,” “recruitment process,” “retraining programmes,” and “physically demanding” work. These choices show an effort to discuss the topic beyond very basic terms. However, spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural word combinations are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “ancient experiences” for the experience or expertise of older people, “labour wide rang,” and “the absent of the inabilities.” Some words are also repeated, particularly “old people” and “young adults.” Aim for precise, natural collocations and check spelling carefully; a smaller number of accurate topic-specific expressions will make your argument clearer than ambitious but unclear phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “although,” “because,” and “as a result.” This gives you some structural variety. However, complex sentences are often not controlled accurately, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and punctuation recur. For instance, “countries who has” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “the number of young adults, has overcome” uses an unnecessary comma and an unsuitable verb construction. Several sentences run together, especially in the first body paragraph, which makes grammatical relationships harder to follow. Practise building one clear main clause at a time, then add subordinate clauses with accurate agreement and punctuation. Proofreading sentence boundaries would also improve readability.

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