Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The population of young people is more as compared to the older people in some countries. It may be beneficial for the future of country because adults are the next new generation which can improve the conditions of country.

Japan is the most populated country in present times , in which there is seventy five percent young adults , twenty percent older people and five percent children. India, which is the second most populated country in the world consists most of the young adults.

The adult generation is more practical as compared to the old-generational people. Adults have more patience,ability of solving different situations in more efficient way. They have the courage to take risk in their life to become a successful person.

On the other hand, the health conditions of older people is also miserable as compared to young adults all over the world.Old people prone more to diseases as compared to young adults because young adults take care of themselves in a better way .

The main difference is that the young adults evolve themselves as much as possible in their lifes to become a successful person so that they can provide their best services to their nation as a good and obedient citizen of country.

In the end , I just want to say that the country have more young-generational people have more chance to get in motion as compared to the country have more old-generational people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a general position that a younger population benefits a country, and you include some relevant points about adults contributing to national development. However, the response only minimally answers the central question: it does not clearly weigh advantages against disadvantages, and the disadvantages are reduced mainly to older people’s health. The claims about Japan’s population figures and adults being more patient or practical are not explained or supported, and the Japan example appears inaccurate. Your conclusion repeats the preference for younger populations rather than summarising a reasoned comparison. The response is also 10 words below the required minimum. Develop a clear comparison, support each main point with a relevant explanation or example, and meet the required length.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has separate paragraphs and uses basic signposting such as “On the other hand” and “In the end,” so the reader can identify an introduction, supporting points and a conclusion. However, the ideas do not progress through a clear comparison of advantages and disadvantages: the population statistics, claims about adults’ qualities, and discussion of older people’s health are placed alongside one another without a strong connecting argument. Some links are mechanical or unclear, and the final paragraph largely repeats the opening position. Organise the essay around one paragraph for advantages and one for disadvantages, then use a conclusion that directly weighs them. Clearer links between each claim and its explanation would improve progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough basic topic vocabulary to communicate the general subject, including “population,” “generation,” “health conditions,” and “services.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “take risk” and “provide their best services,” but several choices are unnatural or repetitive and sometimes make the meaning less precise. Phrases such as “old-generational people,” “get in motion,” and “the next new generation” are not idiomatic in this context. The repeated use of “country” and “young adults” also limits range. Build a more accurate set of expressions for demographic change and its economic effects, and check collocations so that your vocabulary conveys the intended point naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including a relative clause in “India, which is the second most populated country in the world…” and a reason clause beginning “because.” However, the range remains limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence structure, agreement, articles and punctuation. For example, “the country have” should use a singular verb, while “the health conditions … is” has a subject–verb agreement problem. The sentence beginning “The main difference is that…” is difficult to follow because its clauses are not formed clearly. Commas are also inconsistently spaced or used. Practise building accurate complex sentences and check each sentence for a clear subject, verb and clause relationship.

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