Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the contemporary era, the community of many nations consists of a large number of young adults as compared with the number of older people. Although over population of young generation may be create employment issues I believe benefits of it are more them drawbacks because young people make new technologies to solve problems and they can contribute the country's economiy development.

One of the major advantages a significant number of young people may be create different problems such as employment and poverty and put pressure on public services. Additionally, unemployed young children cannot bear their educational expenses and domestic problems because they have sufficient income for them. A large number of adults forced the government to provide more resources for education, healthcare and job opportunities because they have right to do this. For example, many post graduate students who completed their education every year but companies introduced a substantial number of job, unemployment may increase in this way.

Despite these disadvantages there is one significant advantages that is having large number of young generations can contribute the country's economy because they are energetic and full of energy. They have abilites and advance skills to do work in any field such as educationa, business and marketing sector. Moreover, young people introduced new technologies and stratgies to solve everday challanges such as financial problems, health issues, time management difficulities. For instance, young entrepreneurs can develop mobile applications that help people manage their finances, book medical appointments and save time.

In conclusion, having a large number of young people may be benefical for nation's development because they can develop va

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the question and state a clear overall view: the benefits of a young population outweigh the drawbacks. The response gives relevant points on employment pressure and public services, then contrasts these with economic contribution, skills and technological innovation. The mobile-app example helps make the benefits more concrete. However, the disadvantages paragraph is difficult to follow and its example about graduates and job availability does not clearly explain how the situation creates unemployment. The conclusion is also incomplete, ending with “they can develop va…”, so it does not fully reinforce your position. Develop each main point with a clearer cause-and-effect explanation and finish with a complete summary of why the advantages predominate.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and an attempted conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Additionally,” “Despite these disadvantages,” and “Moreover” help signal relationships between ideas. However, progression within the first body paragraph is unclear: the opening says young people “may be create different problems,” while the next sentences shift between poverty, education costs and government services without a clear sequence. Some connections are also difficult to interpret, particularly the example about companies introducing jobs. The unfinished conclusion disrupts the overall ending. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, explain it step by step, and use references and linking phrases that make the relationship between sentences explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “public services,” “contribute the country's economy,” “entrepreneurs,” and “manage their finances.” These choices show an effort to discuss economic and social effects beyond very basic terms. However, word choice, collocation and spelling are often inaccurate or repetitive, sometimes making meaning less clear. Examples include “over population,” “young children” for young adults, “economiy,” “abilites,” and “everyday challanges.” Phrases such as “energetic and full of energy” repeat the same idea, while “introduced new technologies” is not the most natural way to describe innovation. Build accuracy by checking spelling and word forms, learning common collocations, and choosing precise terms such as “young adults” consistently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a concession in the introduction (“Although…”) and a relative clause in the example about applications. However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to understand. For example, “may be create” has an incorrect verb form, “One of the major advantages… may be create different problems” confuses the sentence’s meaning, and “A large number of adults forced the government” lacks a suitable verb form. There are also problems with articles, agreement and sentence completion, especially in the final line. Practise building accurate clauses with a clear subject and verb, then check verb forms and agreement before adding extra information.

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