Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In some countries, population of young adults population is high than old people.from my perspective, it situation has more advantages than disadvantages. Firstly, In numerous countries, young individuals can help to country economy.people can work in different jobs and pay taxes. They can also energetic and learn new social skills rapidly.for instance people can use new modern technology and help company.Mostly people learn different communication skills and ideas. In many countries,young men and woman work in hospitals, schools, and office. Furthermore Competition in all countries young adults is high than adults individuals.Many students after graduation are seek

to work different companies. Consequently, Development country also grow rapidly progress. Young adults can work in different fields such as education,medicine, and business. Government also collect money and provide financial services. Young adults can also start a business to create jobs for new students and support to families.It has some disadvantages for young individuals. In my countries, young adults have no enough jobs, so Young adults are unemployed. This can causes financial and social problem.l think that government need to provide good education, healthcare and training facilities for them. Some people after graduation face many challenges for jobs.Nowadays, most big negative effect is that, many old people are working in companies long run. Therefore,young adults have no jobs to create improve the future.In conclusion, although having a large number of population can create some problem, l believe it is mostly benefits that young adults can work, pay tax and the development for country economies

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and you identify relevant benefits such as young adults working, paying taxes, using technology and starting businesses. You also acknowledge unemployment as a drawback. However, the discussion is only partly developed: several benefits are listed without explaining how they improve a country, and the point about older people remaining in jobs is introduced late and not clearly connected to the argument. The conclusion repeats your position but does not weigh the two sides in detail. To strengthen the response, explain one or two key benefits and disadvantages with specific examples, and make the comparison between them explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the response moves from advantages to disadvantages and then to a conclusion, and linking words such as “Firstly,” “Furthermore,” “Consequently” and “In conclusion” show an attempt to guide the reader. However, progression within the main discussion is not always clear. Ideas about employment, competition, development and government services are placed together without clear links, while the point about older workers appears abruptly. Paragraphing would help distinguish the benefits from the drawbacks, and some connectors are used imprecisely. Group related points, use clear topic sentences, and make each sentence explain or support the main idea of its paragraph.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “pay taxes,” “unemployed,” “financial services,” “education” and “healthcare,” so the reader can understand the general subject. However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “country economy,” “energetic,” “development country” and “create improve the future.” Repetition of “young adults,” “different” and “countries” also limits flexibility. Aim to learn common collocations for employment and economic growth, and check word forms and spelling. More precise expressions would make your ideas clearer and help you discuss the advantages and disadvantages with greater control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer structures, including “although” in the conclusion and “so” to explain the link between limited jobs and unemployment. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “population … is high than old people,” “they can also energetic,” “This can causes” and “young adults have no enough jobs.” There are also problems with articles, agreement, sentence boundaries and capitalisation. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Proofread for verb forms and agreement, for example, “This can cause” and “young adults do not have enough jobs.”

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