Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, In recent years the population of some countries has bcome a widely discussed issue, While people beleive that advantages and disadvantages, other have different opinion. I beleive that population of many countries are different includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of old people.

On the one hand, there are many other countries in the world like Pakistan, Us, UK, Canada, Germany, Island, Italy etc but in all the countries population are very different. Many peoples of the Pakistan are going to the many Europian countries because the employment is very low in pakistan and the system is very inefficient. In real life example, In Pakistan, many young people struggle to find suitable jobs after completing their education. The employment system can be quite inefficient, and the lack of jobs opportunities makes it diffficult for graduates to earn a decent living. As a result, some young people have to wait for months before finding unemployment.

On the other hand, In most developing countries the younger population tends to be larger than the older population. For example, Pakistan has a relatively young population,. In contrast, many developed countries, such as Japan, and Italy, have ageing populations due to lower birth rates and longer life expectancies.

In Conclusion, the younger population is larger in many developing countries tend to have a higher proportion of older people.Younger opeople make up a large proportion of the population in many developing countries, furthermore older people are more common in several developed nations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response refers to young and older populations and gives examples involving Pakistan and ageing countries, so it is connected to the topic. However, it does not answer the central question: there is no clear judgement on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and the discussion mainly compares countries rather than weighing benefits against costs. The point about Pakistani graduates struggling to find work is relevant but is not linked clearly to the effects of having a large young population. The conclusion repeats the demographic comparison instead of stating a reasoned position. The response is also 10 words below the required minimum; develop the advantages and disadvantages with relevant explanations and examples to address the task more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic paragraph structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. These markers show an attempt to organise the response. However, the ideas do not progress clearly: the first body paragraph shifts from listing countries to migration and unemployment, while the second mainly contrasts developing and developed nations. The relationship between these points and the question is not made explicit. The conclusion repeats earlier information and contains overlapping statements. To improve, give each paragraph one clear purpose, connect examples directly to that purpose, and use referencing and linking phrases to show how each idea supports your overall answer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some topic-related vocabulary, including “employment,” “graduates,” “birth rates,” and “life expectancies,” which helps communicate the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “wait for months before finding unemployment,” which reverses the intended meaning, and “many peoples of the Pakistan.” Spelling errors such as “bcome,” “beleive,” “Europian,” and “diffficult” are noticeable and sometimes make reading less smooth. There is also repetition of “young population” and “countries.” Build a more precise set of demographic terms and check spelling and collocations; for example, distinguish “unemployment” from “employment” and use “young adults” or “working-age population” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts a few complex forms, including “because the employment is very low” and the contrast introduced by “In contrast,” but most sentences rely on simple patterns, and errors recur. Examples include “the population … are different,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “the younger population is larger … tend to have,” where the sentence structure breaks down. Articles and plurals are also inconsistent, as in “a relatively young population,.” Punctuation and capitalisation are unreliable, particularly after sentence openings and around commas. Practise building complete sentences with one clear subject and verb, then check agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. More accurate control of these basics will make the ideas easier to follow.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.