Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

currently, there are few countries who's population's major portion consists of young adults in comparison with older people.I persume that its advantages have outweigh its drawbacks.My position is elaborated further with reasons and relevant examples.

Examining its brighter side, it is clearly observed that countries which have more ratio of teenagers and young adults have more beneficial.Subsequently, the young people can do more work efficiently due to the fact that they are more energetic and fit.They could go to different counteries globally to expand their bussiness.For example, elon

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the topic and gives a position: “its advantages have outweigh its drawbacks.” It also begins to explain one relevant advantage, linking a younger population with energy, fitness and the ability to work. However, the answer is far too incomplete to address the task adequately: it stops after “For example, elon” and does not finish the example, explain any disadvantages, or establish why the advantages outweigh them. The length requirement is not met: the response contains 88 words, against the required minimum of 250. To improve, develop both sides of the comparison, support each main point with a complete example, and conclude with a clear judgement that follows from the discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening states a position, and “Examining its brighter side” introduces a supporting paragraph. The ideas in that paragraph also follow a simple sequence, from young people’s energy to their capacity to work and expand businesses. However, the response ends abruptly, so there is no complete progression through the argument or concluding paragraph. Linking expressions such as “Subsequently” and “For example” are present, but the relationship between the claims could be made clearer and more natural. Build a complete structure with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion; use transitions to show comparison and cause-and-effect accurately.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “young adults,” “older people,” “energetic,” and “expand their business,” so the main subject is generally recognisable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “relevant examples” and “Examining its brighter side.” However, spelling and word-choice problems are frequent and sometimes make the wording awkward: “persume,” “counteries,” and “bussiness” are misspelled, while “more ratio” and “have more beneficial” are not natural expressions. The unfinished “elon” also leaves the example unclear. Aim for accurate, conventional collocations and proofread spelling; for instance, use “a higher proportion of young adults” and “benefit the economy.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The writer attempts both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a relative clause in “countries which have more ratio…” and a reason clause introduced by “due to the fact that.” These attempts show some range, and the general meaning of the opening is recoverable. However, errors in sentence structure and verb forms are frequent: “I persume that its advantages have outweigh its drawbacks” has an incorrect verb construction, and “countries who's population's major portion” uses an incorrect relative form and possessive structure. The sentence beginning “the young people can do more work efficiently” also has an awkward grammatical pattern. Practise accurate clause construction, subject–verb relationships, and verb forms, then check punctuation and sentence boundaries so that longer sentences remain clear.

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