Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this era people growing day by day and ratio of people going up its one of the majer reason for population . some countris have proportionof young aduils then elderly people this solution can bring several benefits to society, preacticaly in terms of economic growth and innovation.

in a one hand people have many things to do fon their advantages people find economic growth young people can work and contribute to the countrys aconomy more workforce they can fill job vacancies in different industries. inovation and technology young people often learn new technologies quicly and introduce fresh ideas lower pension costs and futer develpment young people often bring fesh ideas and do many effors on their work and they have many useful and frsh ideas to expand teacnology and useful mind.

on the other hand if we talk about disadnavtiges unemplyment if there are not enough jobs, manyb young people may reamain unemployed. pressure on education governaments need to provide more schools, colleges and universities housing problem people find manyb problems and growing day by day and work age going fawl. crime and social problem a lake of job is furstaing peolpe day by day and increased competition more young workers mayb cometate the people.

in my openion, peple have somme advantige aand some disadvantage but theyb did noy going up day by day and the rato of people going don in thes day.

in concalution people going dawn from the ration of un implowmuint and the have no any risk of the updating the maner of p

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify relevant advantages, including a larger workforce, economic contribution and the ability of young adults to adopt technology, and you also mention possible disadvantages such as unemployment and pressure on education and housing. However, the response does not clearly answer whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The opinion paragraph is difficult to interpret, and the conclusion does not resolve the comparison; phrases such as “some advantige aand some disadvantage” leave your position uncertain. Several points are listed rather than explained, and some claims are unclear, so the reader cannot see how they support your judgement. State your position directly in the introduction, develop a few relevant points with explanations or examples, and return to that position in the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, a paragraph about advantages, one about disadvantages, an opinion paragraph and a conclusion. The contrast between the two sides is also signalled with “on the other hand.” However, the progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow: ideas such as employment, technology, pensions and “futer develpment” run together without clear explanation or separation. The final two paragraphs do not provide a clear line of argument, and some connections between sentences are missing. Use one main idea per paragraph, build each point in a logical order, and use linking phrases to show cause, contrast and result rather than presenting a list.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “economic growth,” “job vacancies,” “unemployed,” “education” and “competition.” These terms show awareness of the subject, but the range is basic and several expressions are repeated or used inaccurately, which sometimes makes the meaning hard to understand. For example, “people find economic growth” does not clearly express how workers contribute to the economy, while “the rato of people going don” is unclear. Frequent spelling errors, including “governaments,” “unemplyment” and “teacnology,” also strain the reader. Build a reliable set of topic phrases and check spelling and collocations; precise wording will help your ideas come across.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to use some longer structures, such as “if there are not enough jobs, many young people may remain unemployed,” and uses basic contrast between the two sides. However, sentence forms are very limited overall, and frequent errors in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement, articles and punctuation make several ideas difficult to interpret. For instance, “some countries have proportion of young adults then elderly people” lacks a clear grammatical comparison, while “people growing day by day” is missing a finite verb form. Many points are written as fragments or run together without full stops. Practise building complete subject–verb sentences, then combine them with simple clauses using “because,” “while” or “which.”

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