Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The human population is rapidly growing in the world. Comparatively, in some countries, there are more young individuals than the older. As a result, these countries have relatively more people with healthy minds and energetic bodies.

Firstly, the countries having higher population of young adults, have ultimately more workers and employees with healthier bodies. For instance, tuff jobs like labour in building constructions, working in coal mines and working in large factories and industries etc., require individuals who are physically active and fit. If these countries have enough number of competent and healthy workers then more tasks will be completed by individuals on time. As a result, their economy will also be grown. Secondly, the defense system of these countries, will have more numbers of army soldiers and air force pilots. They will contribute to provide more effective defense and protection to their nation. Thirdly, there will be more young volunteers who want to serve themselves for the good of their people in different ways.

On the other hand, the countries having more older individuals, lack people who are to work in hard job conditions that demand active bodies. Secondly, these countries will have more people with health issues and disabilities due to age. For example, hospitals will be more crowded due to large numbers of older people. Eventually, more budget will be required for medicine and pharmacies to manage health concerns.

Thirdly, there will be less number of soldiers for countries defense.Overall, the advantages seem to outweigh the disadvantages of having more younger population instead of older.

In conclusion, some countries have comparatively larger population of adults than the older. That is why, they have more advantages of having young aspiring workers in almost every field. However, the countries lacking young adults will not have enough individuals who are physically fit.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you argue that a larger young-adult population brings more benefits than drawbacks, and you address both sides of the comparison. The points about a larger workforce, national defence, and pressure on healthcare are relevant to the question. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the claim that young people will complete more work and grow the economy would be stronger with a clearer link or a specific example. The point about volunteers is also introduced but not developed, while the disadvantages focus mainly on older people’s health and employment. Develop the most important arguments with explanation and examples, and make the comparison between the overall benefits and costs more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, arguments supporting the benefits, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the main points. However, the progression is somewhat mechanical, with several ideas presented as a list rather than linked and developed. The final disadvantage, “less number of soldiers,” is attached to the preceding paragraph without a clear transition, and “Overall” appears before the conclusion, making the ending feel repetitive. Use topic sentences to establish each paragraph’s focus, connect supporting explanations more smoothly, and keep the final judgement in a single, clearly signposted conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “competent,” “defense system,” “physically active,” and “health concerns,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “contribute to provide” and “serve themselves,” but these combinations are not natural and sometimes make the meaning less clear. Several expressions are repetitive or imprecise, including repeated references to “healthy bodies” and “more people.” Spelling and word choice also need attention, as in “tuff jobs” and “hard job conditions.” Aim for accurate collocations and more precise terms—for example, “physically demanding work” and “an ageing population”—rather than adding formal-sounding phrases that do not fit naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If these countries have enough number of competent and healthy workers…” and cause-and-effect sentences beginning “As a result.” Most of the message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include the unnecessary comma in “Firstly, the countries…,” the incorrect construction “have ultimately more workers,” and “their economy will also be grown,” where the verb form is faulty. There are also problems with articles, plurals, and agreement, as in “for countries defense” and “more younger population.” Review sentence boundaries and practise accurate verb forms and noun phrases. Greater control of these patterns would make your varied sentence attempts clearer and more reliable.

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