Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, there is an increase in the number of young adults than the number older citizens. In my viewpoint, the advantages definitely outweigh the limitations as young generations are more expert in technology and physically fit comapred to the previous generations.

To begin, technology has an integral part of our lives. There are use of different digital devices and tools in job sectors. Every company requires a employee who has an excellent computer skills such as proficient in typing, can perfom Excell or Ms word and is able to run the cutting-edge machinaries. As a result, young adults play a crucial role to carry out such activities. Apart from this, there is an enormous amount of work pressure in all aspects of our daily lives. Sometimes, the elderly people confront difficulty to cope with the excess work load. In contarst, the youngs have sufficient strength to perform various tasks. For instance, they have the potency to work for a long period of time without any tiredness or feeling sick.

On the other hand, if the percentages of the young people rise substantially, it can lead to unemployment problem.Therefore, many of them will become jobless. Moreover, there will be an increasing amount of competition among them. However, these challenges can be solved by promoting entrepreneurship such as to encourage them to start their own business rather than working under any organisation,

To recapitulate, I believe that the advantages of present generations are prominent than the drawbacks as they are fit enough and have more knowledge about the modern tools.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you believe the benefits of a younger population outweigh the drawbacks. You address both sides, identifying technological ability and physical capacity as advantages, and unemployment and competition as disadvantages. These are relevant points, but some are more fully explained than others. The technology paragraph gives examples of workplace skills, while the claim that young people can work for long periods “without any tiredness” is broad and would benefit from qualification or evidence. The response to unemployment is also brief: entrepreneurship is suggested, but you do not explain how it would create enough opportunities. Develop these points with a specific example and a clearer comparison of their effects.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall structure, with an introduction, a paragraph presenting advantages, a paragraph acknowledging disadvantages, and a conclusion. The progression from the benefits to the counterargument is easy to follow, and signposts such as “To begin,” “On the other hand,” and “To recapitulate” help guide the reader. This organisation meets the lower-band expectations and shows some features of stronger progression. However, several transitions feel formulaic, and the link between the unemployment problem and the proposed solution could be made more explicit. Some references are also imprecise, particularly “these challenges,” which could identify the specific problems being addressed. Use linking expressions more selectively and connect each example directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “integral part,” “cutting-edge,” “work pressure,” “unemployment,” and “entrepreneurship.” This allows you to discuss both the benefits and drawbacks, and the main meaning is generally clear. However, noticeable spelling, word-choice, and collocation errors limit precision: “comapred,” “contar st” (intended as “contrast”), “potency to work,” and “advantages … are prominent than the drawbacks” are not natural or accurate in context. Some expressions are also vague, such as “the youngs” and “different digital devices and tools.” Aim for more conventional collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully; this will make your ideas sound more precise and fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “if the percentages of the young people rise substantially, it can lead to unemployment” and a relative clause in “an employee who has…”. The overall meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors occur in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation. For example, “There are use of different digital devices” has an incorrect verb pattern, while “a employee” and “an excellent computer skills” show article and number problems. The opening comparison also needs a complete structure: “an increase … than the number” is not grammatically parallel. Review articles, singular/plural agreement, and sentence boundaries, then proofread complex sentences to ensure each clause is complete and correctly connected.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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