Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowdays, the population of young individuals are relatively larger in some countries as compared to the number of older individuals. The most crucial benefit of having larger number of young adults is that they have high potential and are the main reason of creating progress in society, however, the disadvantage is that, young people have high ego which creates disturbance in the nation. Mitigate number of older individual has also negative impact on society as they are the one who can control younger people but they are the reason of rising in population.

The main benefit of having younger individual is that with the ability of strength, they develop countries in progressive way and built society powerful. They have ability to overcome any problem which their countries are facing and hence are benefitted for countries. Nowdays, their are numerous young people who are working for their countries with high moral they are serving their nation with talent and abilities which are the main benefits for nation progress.

Reduced number of older individual are the main cause of disadvantage for the countries as they are the one who can control the young individuals. Moreover, with the advice and experience of older people society develops in the better way. With the experience of past, they encourage young individual to serve their country with euphoric and die with audacious. While the major disadvantage is rise in population which develope pressure on government as they have to look after for people who are not giving benefits.

In conclusion, this essay discuss about the advantages of younge individual that how they are benefited for their countries and also tells that how older individual play role for the progress of nation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify relevant effects of a younger population, including its potential contribution to national development, and the value of older people’s experience. However, the response does not clearly answer the central question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The opening mentions young people’s “high ego” as a disadvantage, but this point is not explained, while the later discussion shifts to the reduced number of older people and population pressure without establishing how these compare with the benefits. The conclusion summarises topics rather than stating a clear overall judgement. To strengthen the response, take a definite position and develop a small number of relevant points with specific explanations or examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The body paragraphs also group related ideas, such as young people’s contribution and older people’s guidance. However, progression between ideas is not always clear. For example, the first paragraph moves from young people’s potential to “high ego” and then to older people’s role and population growth, leaving the relationship between these points unclear. Linking expressions such as “Moreover” and “While” are used, but they do not consistently show the intended contrast or connection. The conclusion repeats the subject rather than bringing the argument together. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each supporting explanation directly to the paragraph’s main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “potential,” “progressive,” “experience,” and “pressure on government,” so the reader can follow the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “high ego,” “develop countries in progressive way,” and “serve their country with euphoric and die with audacious.” These expressions make parts of the argument difficult to interpret. Spelling and word-form errors, including “Nowdays,” “younge,” and “develope,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural phrases and check spelling carefully. For instance, explain the specific contribution young adults make rather than relying on broad claims about progress.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a sentence beginning “Moreover, with the advice and experience of older people…”. However, complex constructions are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “the population of young individuals are,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “the main benefit … is that with the ability of strength, they develop,” where the sentence structure is unclear. Articles, plurals and verb forms also need attention, as in “a larger number,” “older individual,” and “this essay discuss.” Practise building accurate sentences with one clear main clause, then add subordinate clauses only when their grammatical relationship is clear.

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