Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Currently, the population the youth in some countries is greater than the population of the older people. Although larger young population is better than elderly population. This essay will compare the advantages and disadvantages of both.

Having a larger number of youth in a countries is beneficial for the country itself because they have the ability and the audacity to achieve their dreams and make their country proud in all over the world. Moreover, they play a vital role in changing the mindset the older generation and their preception about the life. The Young generation stands for their rights for instance, in Pakistan, the number of young adults is larger than the number of older people and unlike elderly people, younsters demands for their rights.

Although youngster have sharper mind, elders have great experiences in their life that is why they predict the future according to their experiences. However, they never talk about their rights and they also advise their childrens to not to talk about it which can cause detrimental effect in the life of their children. But having old people is also a blessing for the young generation they can gain informative knowledge for them which will definitely going to help them in their daily life.

In conclusion, having a large number of the young generation is more advantageous than having a large number of old generation because youth have the audacity to take their rights and the strength to do some thing remarkable to make their country proud globally.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall preference for a larger young population, especially in the conclusion, and you include relevant points about young people pursuing rights and older people sharing experience. However, the response only partly develops the comparison required by the question. The opening says the essay will compare the two situations, but the discussion does not fully explain the wider advantages and disadvantages of a youthful population, such as its effects on employment, economic growth, or public services. The Pakistan example is relevant but remains general, and the disadvantages of having more young adults are not really considered. Develop each main point with a specific explanation or example, and make the comparison between benefits and drawbacks explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the final paragraph restates your position. Ideas are generally grouped by topic: the first body paragraph focuses on young people, while the second introduces older people’s experience. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear. For example, the first body paragraph moves from ambition to changing older people’s mindsets and then to rights without showing how these points connect. Linking words such as “Moreover,” “Although” and “However” are used, but some do not express the relationship accurately; “Although” at the start of the second paragraph is followed by a contrast that is not clearly completed. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each supporting point directly to the main argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “vital role,” “mindset,” “experiences” and “detrimental effect,” and these choices show an attempt to express more than basic ideas. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation and spelling errors make the writing less natural. Examples include “the population the youth,” “in all over the world,” “younsters” and “informative knowledge.” The repeated use of “audacity” is also unsuitable here: it usually suggests boldness or willingness to take risks, rather than the ability or determination to achieve goals. Build a more precise set of expressions for discussing demographics, such as workforce, economic contribution and intergenerational knowledge, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning with “Although” and “because,” and you use both simple and longer sentences. However, control is inconsistent, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For example, “Although larger young population is better than elderly population” is an incomplete clause, while “Having a larger number of youth in a countries” has problems with articles and agreement. In “the number of young adults is larger … and … youngsters demands,” the subject and verb do not agree. There are also faulty verb patterns, as in “will definitely going to help.” Practise complete sentence structures, subject–verb agreement, articles and consistent verb forms before adding more complex clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.