Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some countries around the world, there are more young adults compared to older people.

This essay will discuss positives and negatives of the the age gap in a country, and will argue that having more young adults is a better oppurtunity for the growth of the country.

On the one hand, having more young people and less older individuals means life expectenancy is low. People in that country only survive to a limited age. The low number of older people could also means some environmental hazards and possibility of deseases. Many important areas of a country demands experiences and mature people for decision making like the people in government. Young people usually take harsh decision without worrying about the consequence of that decision in the future. Therefore older people are important part of a country and its system. They have built these different organizations and its rules and regulations. Hence, they better understand and handle different problems with maturity.

On the other hand, young adults means new vision with energetic people. The more adults in a developing country is like treasure. They have dreams and skills to fulfil them. The young individuals with help of modern age technology has completely changed the way people used to see oppurtinities. Now with the help of technology people are building virtual businesses and helping economies to grow. They are providing employment to more individuals and which leads better living and financial conditions. The IT exports have seen a recent economic boom in many developing countries, all this because of young adults who are familiar with the demands around the world.

In conclusion, the older people are important part of a country and are like signs of a healthy and mature nation. However, the young adults are more beneficials because of the energy and vision for the future of a country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and make your position clear: the conclusion says young adults are “more beneficial” because of their energy and vision. The discussion of older people’s experience and young adults’ contribution to technology and employment is relevant, and the IT-export example helps support your view. However, some points are asserted rather than explained. For instance, the claim that a low number of older people indicates environmental hazards or disease is unclear, and the benefits of a younger population could be linked more directly to why they outweigh the disadvantages. Develop these connections and support the comparison with a more specific example to make the argument more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion that restates your view. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” makes the direction easy to follow. Some connections between ideas are less clear, however. The move from low life expectancy to environmental hazards and disease is not explained, while “and which leads better living” does not clearly show how employment improves living conditions. There is also some mechanical repetition of “young people” and “older people.” Use clearer links between claims and explanations, and vary references where possible.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “decision making,” “consequence,” “virtual businesses,” “employment,” and “economic boom,” which helps communicate the main ideas. There are also attempts at more expressive wording, such as “like treasure,” though this is not a natural fit for the argument. Several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “oppurtunity,” “expectenancy,” “deseases,” and “beneficials.” Some combinations are also awkward, such as “harsh decision” and “demands experiences.” These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your position, but careful proofreading and more natural collocations would make the vocabulary more accurate and effective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional-style explanation (“Young people usually take harsh decision without worrying about the consequence”) and a contrastive conclusion. Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors affect accuracy. For example, “The low number of older people could also means” should use the base verb after “could,” and “The more adults … is like treasure” has a subject–verb agreement problem. In “The young individuals with help of modern age technology has completely changed,” the subject and verb do not agree. Articles, plurals, and sentence construction also need attention. Review agreement and article use, then check each sentence for a complete, correctly connected structure.

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