Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

At the present time, it has been observed that the population of youger aged people is relatively higher than the older ones.

In my opinion, the large number of young people is more advantages as compared to its disadvantages. The young people has more motivation to bring changes in the society than the older people because the olders are less motivated and adjusting becomes part of their routine. The young people add more value to the innovation because they eager to learn new skill and implement them in practical life. Our economy needs young generation to increase the growth of country. The young are benefical for the industries as well because industry needs labour who can work with energy and it would eventually contribute to the GDP of country. The military is built upon the young solider because they stand against the terrorism and fight to save innocent live which an old age people could never do. The burden on the state for pension and old age home reduce as well. A large number of people recieve pension which is a burden on government. It has been observed that young people contribute more on social activity and welfare events compared to older people.The welfare coomunities are usually run by young people because they have the courage to change people around them and help them to be a better version.

The large number of young people as compared with the number of old has more benefits than its disadantages as they are the main source os our increase GDP and eocomic growth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you believe a larger young population brings more advantages, and you give relevant reasons involving innovation, economic growth, industry, military service, pensions and community activity. This addresses the question, but the advantages are not weighed against any disadvantages, so the comparison implied by “outweigh” is not fully explored. Several points are asserted rather than explained—for example, the claim that young people increase GDP would be stronger with a specific example or a clear explanation of how their work supports growth. The points about military service and pension costs are also brief, and the conclusion mainly repeats your view. Develop fewer arguments in more depth and acknowledge at least one disadvantage before explaining why the benefits are greater.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall shape: an introduction, a main section presenting supporting reasons, and a concluding statement. The ideas are generally relevant and can be followed, but almost all the supporting points are placed in one long paragraph, which makes the progression difficult to see. The repeated pattern of introducing another benefit also gives the discussion a list-like quality. Some links between ideas are unclear, and the final sentence repeats the central claim without drawing together the main reasons. Use separate paragraphs to group related arguments, such as economic benefits and social benefits, and add clear transitions that show how each point supports your overall comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “innovation,” “GDP,” “pension,” “industries” and “social activity,” which helps communicate a range of ideas. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive: “more advantages,” “add more value to the innovation” and “contribute more on social activity” do not sound natural in context. There are also spelling errors such as “youger,” “benefical,” “recieve” and “disadantages.” These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main argument, but they reduce precision and control. Check spelling carefully and learn common word partnerships; using a more precise range of expressions would make the argument clearer and more academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with reasons, such as the explanation beginning “because the olders are less motivated.” This shows some effort to connect ideas, but control is inconsistent, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction are frequent enough to affect fluency. Examples include “The young people has,” “because they eager to learn,” and “The burden … reduce.” The sentence about military service also combines several ideas without clear grammatical boundaries. Practise checking that subjects and verbs agree, that clauses contain the necessary verb forms, and that longer sentences are punctuated clearly. More accurate simple and compound sentences would improve readability while you build confidence with complex structures.

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