Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, the population of young adults are higher compared to the population of older people this may seem unusual for others but for me this answers the question I have been wondering about for the past years.

I would say the advantages doesn't outweight the disadvantages of this situation simply because there's an important reason behind it. In my opinion, it may be because of health problems due to lifestyles and food industry.

Firsly, I belive that older people have been living a completely different life compared to the young adults given that they were very active and foods are less processed before compared to now. They like physical work, or let's just say an active lifestyle unlike young adults now which prefers to live a sedentary lifestyle not generalize. On top of that, older people love home cooked meals and organic foods, which is way different from young adults that fast food is the go-to-food to ease the hunger including the unhealthy cravings available in covenient stores. Last reason I can think of health problems, based on the news, studies and doctors in social media, young adults are diagnosed with cancers and chornic disease recently.

In conclusion, the number of increasingly adults and decreasing number of older people shows that many young adults are dying leading to decreasing population of older men and women. I personally admit that I am currently living an inactive lifestyle, I prioritize work and use my cellphone during my free time instead of woring out.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear answer that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, and you offer a relevant explanation involving health, lifestyle and diet. However, the response only partially addresses the question: it focuses on why fewer older people may be present, rather than weighing the social or economic advantages and disadvantages of a younger population. The claim that young adults are “dying” is not adequately supported, and the references to news and social media are too general to establish it. Your personal example about an inactive lifestyle adds some relevance, but it does not develop the argument about population structure. To strengthen the response, explain specific consequences—for example, effects on the workforce, pensions or healthcare—and compare their importance before reaching your conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction to reasons and then a conclusion, and phrases such as “Firstly” and “On top of that” signal additions. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the central argument shifts from whether a young population is advantageous to why older people may be less numerous. The body paragraph also combines activity, diet and disease without clearly showing how each point supports the answer. Some links are awkward or unclear, particularly “Last reason I can think of health problems,” while the conclusion introduces the claim that young adults are dying without preparing it through a developed argument. Organise the body around two or three consequences of a younger population, and use clear topic sentences and references to connect each example to your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic-related vocabulary, including “sedentary lifestyle,” “processed,” “organic foods” and “chronic disease,” which helps communicate your ideas. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “health problems due to lifestyles and food industry.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or informal, including “go-to-food,” “ease the hunger” and “unhealthy cravings available in convenient stores.” Spelling errors such as “belive,” “Firsly,” “chornic” and “woring” are noticeable and reduce precision. Aim for more standard academic phrasing and check spelling carefully. For example, describe “frequent consumption of fast food” rather than using conversational expressions, and choose vocabulary that directly discusses demographic and social effects.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “given that” and “which,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in “the population of young adults are higher” and “the advantages doesn't outweight.” Some sentences are incomplete or joined unclearly, such as “Last reason I can think of health problems,” and the opening sentence runs several ideas together without effective punctuation. The sentence beginning “They like physical work” also has an unclear comparison and agreement in “young adults now which prefers.” These problems sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement, articles and punctuation when combining clauses.

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