Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, a few of the countries includes a high portion of young adults as compared to number of older people. Although this situation has some disadvantages, such as less experience and the higher government expenditure, I believe it's advantages, particularly physically fit and active as well as interest on changing the society outweigh these drawbacks.

One of the most significant benefits of young adult is physicially fit and active. The young people are good in their health and are active becsuse of which they can participate in different events and share the knowldege for the betterment of the society.Another important benefit is that young people can join the military camp and serve for the nation. For example; If a country has more young people who join defense , a country will have stronger team to protect their country.

Despite these advantages, these situation has certain drawbacks. Firstly, a young indiviual has less experience as compare to older one. The experience is essential for the development of the country. Secondly, having young people can easily get distracted from anyone and may involve in illegial activities which harms their own country. For instance; The young population of France started protest in their country although their demands are real but they almost demolish thier own country.

In conlusion, although having young population may lack the real life experience and easy distracted , i believe it's benefits outweight it's drawbacks, particularly and menatlly fit and keen on changing the country makes them important than older people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and state a clear view: the advantages of a young population outweigh its disadvantages. The points about physical activity, military service, limited experience, and protest-related disruption are relevant. However, some ideas are more fully explained than others. The military example explains how young people could help defend a country, while the claim that they are physically active and can share knowledge is not clearly connected to wider social or economic benefits. The France example is also broad and would be stronger with a specific explanation of the consequences. To develop the response further, explain how the advantages affect society overall and support each main point with a precise example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph presenting advantages, a paragraph discussing disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “One of the most significant benefits,” “Despite these advantages,” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the argument. This logical arrangement is a strength. Some links between ideas are less smooth, however: the move from physical fitness to military service is abrupt, and the relationship between the France example and the claim about young people being easily distracted is not fully explained. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as in “these situation” and “their country.” Use clearer transitions between supporting points and make pronouns refer unmistakably to the people or country being discussed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “government expenditure,” “development,” “military,” and “protest,” and you attempt to express ideas beyond very basic statements. However, the range and control are limited by repeated general wording such as “young people,” “country,” and “benefit,” as well as inaccurate word choices and collocations. Phrases such as “join the military camp,” “stronger team,” and “easy distracted” do not express the intended meanings naturally. Spelling errors, including “physicially,” “knowldege,” and “illegial,” also make the writing less clear. Build a more precise vocabulary for discussing demographics and social effects, and check spelling and common word partnerships carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including a concession in “Although this situation has some disadvantages” and a conditional example beginning “If a country has more young people.” These attempts show some range, but errors in sentence structure and grammatical forms recur and sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “a few of the countries includes” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “a young indiviual has less experience as compare to older one” contains several issues with comparison and articles. The conclusion also has an unclear sentence structure. Practise checking agreement, articles, and complete sentence patterns, especially when combining several ideas. More accurate control of these forms would make your argument easier to understand.

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