Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The population of adults and older people at present time has brought benefits and drawbacks. while its a beneficial for that country has more young people rather then older. This essay will examine both sides. younger people are work hard and they also give tax to their country. on the other side mostly older people all about her expense is on her pensions and government funds.

One important advantage of young people they are mostly hard worker and able to server for their country. for instance in Pakistan 70 percent of people are young and 30 percent of older people . this percentage of population has to much benefits for that country. for example in Pakistan see that in any season nor shortage of labour in any season because in Pakistan mostly population are young people.

Despite the benefits of older people also has limitations. The main drawback is older people they are do not able to do any work or hard activities if they do some work their Blood pressure are heart rate go to uper level. one explanation is that mostly in those country they have not jobs for their peoples. Those countries don't care about whether the population is old or young. because they have do not resources for their population. for instance Pakistan or India these country population are mostly young but they have did not job or good oppertintes for peoples

In conclusion although young people are beneficial for country because they are hard worker and have good abilaty work for their country but its depend upon resorecs

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the topic by identifying benefits associated with a young population and drawbacks linked to older people, and you give examples from Pakistan and India. However, the response only partially answers the key question: whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The opening says young people are beneficial, but the conclusion adds that this depends on resources, so your overall judgement is not fully clear or consistently explained. The points about young people working and contributing tax are relevant, but they need fuller explanation. The discussion of older people focuses on health and pensions, while the later point about unemployment and limited resources is not clearly connected to the comparison. State your position directly and support it with more specific reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, separate discussion of advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the main sections. However, the overall progression is not always clear, and some ideas are joined mechanically or without a clear relationship. For example, the paragraph about older people moves from health problems to a lack of jobs and then to limited resources, without explaining how these points support the same argument. Linking phrases such as “on the other side” and “despite the benefits” signal contrast, but the connections between individual sentences are often unclear. Organise each body paragraph around one main point, explain it, and then give a directly relevant example.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a limited but relevant set of topic vocabulary, including “young people,” “older people,” “tax,” “pensions,” and “labour.” These terms help communicate the general subject. However, vocabulary is repetitive, and noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, word form, and spelling sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. Phrases such as “hard worker,” “give tax,” and “good oppertintes” are not expressed naturally or accurately. The repeated use of “people” and “country” also limits precision. Build a wider range of accurate expressions for employment, public finances, and demographic change, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would make your examples and comparisons easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer structures, including a conditional idea in “if they do some work” and a contrast introduced by “although.” This shows an effort to vary sentence forms. However, the range remains limited, and attempts at longer sentences are often faulty. Errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction appear frequently, as in “older people they are do not able to do any work” and “this percentage of population has to much benefits.” Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, with sentences beginning in lowercase and some clauses joined unclearly. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and complete sentences before adding subordinate clauses; this will make your reasoning clearer.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.