Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, many countries have relatively large number of young adults which reflects a bright future of a country in terms of power, while others countries have relatively large number of older people which reflects a bright future of country in tenms of knowledge and experiences. Young adults helps a country to protect from enemy using their strength, while older people protect a country using their knowledge. Sometimes young people can be barrier for development because of laking of skills and knowledge or wrong decision, while older people can also be bar for development because of lacking of strength or independent.

A country where has comperatively large number of young adults has some benefits like helping counry to discover new technology, to protect a coury form anemy to use their skills and power. On the other hand it has some disadvantages like young people needs good values and norms otherwise they can connect with durg addiction or any types of addiction, without good knowlege, skills and educaton these young adults can be bar for a country. Firstly, young people help country discovering new technology or technics throught these technics country produce more products, food, arms etc which helps counry to be a developed country. Secondly, young adults protact a country through their power and skills. when enamy counry attact a country only young people can fight againt enamy. In contrast, sometimes young adults can creat extra problems when they do not have good values and norms. Moreover, sometimes they connected with addiction as a results they can not gain any knowledge and they can bring any change in country.

On the other hand, a country where has comperatively large number of older people has some advantages like helping a country to go right poths throught their knowldge and experiences. Older people has knlowldge and they use these knowledge to teach people and make new ideas. Through these idea a counry go towards a developed country. In most counry, presidents, prime minister are older people because they can run the country far more better than other people. But it has some disadvantages like older people do not have strenght or power so that they can protect a country form enamy. When a counry has more older people than in future this counry will face many problem. Older people are most of the time dependent and they can not do work which need power or strength.

In conclusion, having relatively large number of young adults have some advantages like helping country form enamy through their strengh but also have some disadvantages like without good values and education they will be bar. On the other hand having relatively large number of older people have some advantages like helpeing country through knowledge but also have disadvantages like depending on other people

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You discuss both younger and older populations and give relevant points, including young adults’ contribution to technology and defence, and older people’s knowledge and experience. However, the task asks whether the advantages of a large young-adult population outweigh its disadvantages, but your response compares young and older populations instead of clearly weighing the advantages and disadvantages of the stated situation. The conclusion repeats points about both groups without giving a definite answer to “outweigh.” Several claims, such as older leaders being better able to run a country, are asserted rather than explained or supported with a specific example. State your position clearly in the introduction, focus consistently on the young-adult population, and develop a few reasons with explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposting such as “On the other hand,” “Firstly” and “In contrast” helps readers follow the broad structure. However, the overall progression is weakened because the essay shifts from the question about a large young population to a comparison with older people, then returns to both groups in the conclusion. Some linking is repetitive, particularly the repeated “On the other hand” and “like” constructions, while references such as “these idea” and “this country” are not always clear. Organise the body around the advantages and disadvantages of a young population, and use transitions that show the relationship between each point rather than relying on repeated formulaic links.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “technology,” “addiction,” “knowledge,” “experiences” and “developed country,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “country,” “young people,” “advantages” and “disadvantages.” Frequent spelling errors, including “comperatively,” “knowldge” and “strenght,” and inaccurate or unnatural combinations such as “bar for development” and “go right poths” sometimes make the intended meaning harder to follow. Aim for more precise, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, you could describe young people as a “barrier to development” only when explaining the cause, or say that experienced leaders can “guide the country’s development.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “while,” “because” and “when.” This gives some variety, but complex sentences are often faulty and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the response difficult to read. Examples include “Young adults helps,” “a country where has,” “Older people has,” and “they connected with addiction”; these show problems with subject–verb agreement, clause structure and missing auxiliary verbs. Articles and plurals are also inconsistent, as in “a country” and “many problem.” Practise building accurate basic sentences first, then extend them with one subordinate clause at a time. Proofread specifically for agreement, complete verb forms and sentence boundaries.

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