Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In todays world, the population of adults in some countries are high numbers than aged peoples. I think this is benificial, as advantages outweigh disadvantages.

The first advantage is the more active work force that can do things with full effforts and dedication. For example, china has world highest population and government use this potential to become an industrial state. In my country we can't survive without chinese import as its cheap and provide quality based on money. This is due to adults, whivh whole economy is standing.

The second advantage is creativity and dedications; world is constantly changing and innovation needs creative minds who can build Rockets, AI and Electronics or things that will saved huminity. For instance, Space X program to Mars for the purpose to save the people of future danger, such as climate chnage or nuclear war.

Conversly, there are some disadvantages: more people need more resources such as food. In india and african countries, million of peoples are in hunger and starving to death. The developing countries could not managed the population as system manuplation and unequal countribution of resources.

In conclusion, younger adults benifits to the economy of cuntry than older individuals and their gowth in proportion has numerious advantages that outweigh the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, and your points about the workforce, innovation and pressure on food supplies are relevant to the question. However, the response addresses the issue only partially: the advantages are asserted more than explained, and the examples do not always show how a high proportion of young adults specifically creates the claimed benefit. The China example focuses on population and imports, while the SpaceX example is only loosely connected to the age structure. The disadvantage is also brief and general. The response is 40 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop and support your ideas. Explain the links more fully and add a specific, relevant example for each main point.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two paragraphs on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages and a conclusion. This makes the overall direction easy to follow, and signposts such as “The first advantage,” “Conversely” and “In conclusion” help identify the stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear. For example, the move from China’s workforce to the writer’s country relying on Chinese imports does not clearly establish the connection between the two claims. Some linking is mechanical, and references such as “this potential” and “their growth” could be more precise. Develop each paragraph around one clear claim, then explain and illustrate it in a more connected sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “work force,” “innovation,” “resources” and “unequal contribution,” and you use some topic-specific examples such as “AI” and “nuclear war.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices, collocations and spelling errors make parts difficult to understand. Examples include “aged peoples,” “quality based on money,” “system manipulation” and “growth in proportion.” Frequent spelling problems such as “benificial,” “effforts” and “huminitiy” also reduce clarity. Aim for accurate, natural phrases rather than ambitious wording that does not fit the meaning. Proofread carefully, and learn collocations such as “a large working-age population” and “put pressure on food supplies.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use mostly simple sentence patterns, with some attempts to connect ideas through clauses, as in “world is constantly changing and innovation needs creative minds who can build…” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For example, “the population … are high numbers” has faulty agreement and sentence construction, while “the developing countries could not managed” uses an incorrect verb form. Articles and plurals are also inconsistent, as in “china has world highest population” and “million of peoples.” Practise building accurate sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement, articles and verb forms before adding more complex clauses.

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