Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, in many coutries population of young people more than older people. From my perspective, this situation outweigh the disadvantages than advantages. Older people are very essential in present time, they could give many advices to young adults. In addition, they could help their grandson or grandaugter when their parents at work.

In the present time, in some countries relatively less number of older people than young adults. Disadvantages of this that young people are most of the time not moture enogh in their life. Older people like grantperants are could give them many advices in their daily life, because they have so many experians in the life. For example, young people might need help in personal life, grandparents could give some advices from them sides to support and solve their problems. Older people see many think in their life than young adults.

One more disadvantage of this situation that older people are less in the present day, is that many of young people are after marege and having kids would like to work to support their new family, howevery they can not do this because they can leave their child, in this time older people with the many experians could help them to take care the child when parents are working.

In conclusion, nowadays population of older people are in low numbers , compared with young adults,however this situation is outweigh the disadvantages, older people are importan in young people life with their knowloge and experians from their life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You take a position that the situation has more disadvantages, and you give relevant reasons involving young adults’ limited maturity and the support older relatives can provide with advice and childcare. These examples show an attempt to explain the effects on family life. However, the argument does not fully answer the comparison in the question: the opening says the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, but the response mainly describes benefits of having older people available and does not explain the advantages of a younger population. The conclusion repeats the position without resolving this mismatch. To strengthen the response, state clearly which side outweighs the other and develop at least one specific advantage and disadvantage before comparing their importance.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The ideas about advice and childcare are grouped into related sections, and linking phrases such as “In addition,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” help signal movement between points. However, progression is limited because the first body paragraph largely repeats the claim that older people can advise young adults, and the second returns to the same general point through childcare. The relationship between the stated position and the supporting paragraphs is also unclear. Some sentences are difficult to connect, such as “Older people see many think in their life than young adults.” Organise the essay around distinct reasons and use clear references to show how each supports your comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a basic range of topic-related vocabulary, including “young adults,” “grandparents,” “personal life,” “support,” and “solve their problems.” These words make the general subject understandable, and phrases such as “support their new family” show an attempt to express a specific situation. However, vocabulary is repetitive, especially “older people,” “young people,” and “many advices,” and frequent spelling and word-choice errors sometimes make the reader work to understand the message. Examples include “experians,” “moture,” and “grantperants.” Build a more accurate range for discussing population and family support, and check spelling and collocations. For instance, use “advice” rather than “advices,” and choose precise terms such as “care for children” instead of “take care the child.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer structures, including a reason clause with “because” and an example introduced by “For example.” The main ideas can generally be followed, but control is uneven: errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles and verb forms occur repeatedly. For example, “this situation outweigh the disadvantages” has an agreement problem, while “Older people like grantperants are could give” combines incompatible verb forms. The sentence beginning “One more disadvantage of this situation…” also becomes difficult to follow because its clauses are not clearly controlled. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and separating long ideas into shorter sentences. More reliable simple and compound sentences would make your reasoning clearer while you develop complex structures.

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