Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's rapidely changing world there are various masses who argue that according to modern requirment some nations need more number of youngster then elderly people. I toatally agree that advantages of this approch outweight it's disadvantages and a breaf dicusstion regading this would be main in following passage.

Starting with the advatages of having more adults in nation. It help in overall development of the nation specially in developing republic because young people have more potancial to work hard and perform hard jobs in more effective and efficient manner which help to strenth the economy of the country. For exmple, India which have large number of youth who are playing vital role to improve the GDP of the country and to earn a batter lifestyle.

On the otherhand, if we say about elders they have more life experience then young people but they can followup with the modern requrement and technology and to grow more in the moder world we have take help of technology and to make huge development in this sector.To illustrate, China is the second most populated country among athors but still it have poor economy beacuse a lang number of popular is old age who are dependent on penstion and on others for their daily expenses and few percentage of their population is fully self dependent which put an baad impact on their overall development.

To conclude, I firmly believe that having more number of young then enders is much good then having more older genration because adults will help more to genrate employment opertunity and gain more economical wealth then enders.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You give a clear answer to the question, stating that the advantages of a younger population outweigh the disadvantages, and you maintain this view in the conclusion. Your points about young adults contributing to economic growth and older people having valuable experience are relevant. The India example supports your claim about young workers, although the link to improved living standards could be explained more fully. The discussion of older people is less balanced: it focuses mainly on their dependence and limited ability to keep up with technology, without developing the value of their experience or considering how societies can benefit from it. Develop both sides with more precise reasoning and examples to make the comparison more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two sides, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow your main position. You also use signposts such as “Starting with” and “To conclude.” However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the second body paragraph shifts from older people’s experience to technology and then to China’s economy without clearly connecting each point. The reference to China is also difficult to follow because the relationship between an ageing population and its economic performance is asserted rather than explained. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example directly to the point it supports; vary linking phrases and make references between sentences more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “overall development,” “vital role,” “GDP,” and “self dependent.” These choices show an effort to discuss economic and demographic issues, but the range is limited and frequent spelling and word-choice errors sometimes make the message difficult to understand. Examples include “rapidely,” “potancial,” “outweight,” and “a lang number of popular,” where the intended wording is unclear. Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “more number of youngster” and “gain more economical wealth.” Build accuracy with common topic collocations and check spelling carefully. Prefer precise expressions such as “a larger proportion of young adults,” “contribute to economic growth,” and “an ageing population.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer, more complex sentences, for example the sentence beginning “On the otherhand, if we say about elders…”. This shows some range, but control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms can make ideas hard to follow. For instance, “It help” needs subject–verb agreement, while “India which have” has an incorrect verb form and an incomplete relative-clause structure. The long sentence about older people combines several ideas without clear grammatical boundaries. Practise building accurate sentences with one main idea and a supporting clause, and check agreement and articles. Clearer punctuation and shorter sentence units would improve readability.

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