Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, population has become a controversial topic of discussion. While some coutries argue that young adults are in large quantities compared with older people. However, despite its undeniable advantages, young adults may also perform more tasks that older people cannot do. Although, young has certain drawbacks, I strongly believe that its benefits are far greater overall.

On the one hand, young adults has numerous advantages, perticularly interm of economic employment. In many countries, especially developing countries, young adults serves as amajor source of income because older people due to his old ages cannot work for long hours. After passing time older people start suffering from some diseases like haert attack, sugar and backbone pain. However, the population of young adults is beneficial for our country because they create job as hotels, resturant, transpotation and aducation, thereby redusing unemployment and improving living standard.

On the other hand, young adults can also lead some serious problems ifit is not controlled effectively. One major cause is enverionmental degradation. A huge amount of population used public transport and private vehicle also damage the natural beauty of country. Another disadvantages is the negative impact on local culture and community. Moreover, the rapid growth young adult who moved village to cities for better carrier opportunities and higher education can increase living costs in cities for local residents particularly in famous cities where housing become expensive.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, and you address both sides of the question. The employment and economic contribution of young adults is relevant, as are the points about environmental pressure and rising urban housing costs. However, the ideas are only partly developed: for example, the claim that young people “create job” in several sectors is not explained with a specific example or clear link to national benefits. The disadvantages are also listed more than explored, and the conclusion does not separately reinforce your comparison. The response is 21 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop and support your reasoning. Add a focused conclusion and extend key points with examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction followed by advantages and disadvantages, and signposting such as “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” helps readers follow the broad contrast. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven, and some links are unclear or mechanical. The opening uses “While” and then “However” in a way that creates a confusing relationship between ideas. In the first body paragraph, the move from older people’s health to job creation needs a clearer explanation. The final paragraph also combines environmental effects, migration, education and housing without showing how these points connect. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, then explain and illustrate it before moving to the next point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “economic employment,” “environmental degradation,” “local culture,” and “living costs.” These choices show an effort to discuss social and economic effects, but the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts difficult to understand. For instance, “young adults are in large quantities” is not a natural way to describe a population, and “create job as hotels” does not clearly express the intended idea. Spelling errors such as “coutries,” “perticularly,” and “enverionmental” also reduce clarity. Build a bank of accurate topic phrases and check spelling carefully; prefer precise expressions such as “a large proportion of the population” and “employment in the hospitality sector.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning with “because,” “although,” and “where,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in agreement and sentence construction occur frequently, as in “young adults has” and “young adults serves.” Some sentences are incomplete or awkwardly joined: “While some coutries argue…” is a dependent clause without a main clause, while “Although, young has certain drawbacks” is also incorrectly formed. Articles, plurals and verb forms need attention, as in “a huge amount of population used” and “housing become expensive.” These errors sometimes make the intended meaning harder to follow. Practise writing complete sentences with one clear main clause, then check subject–verb agreement and tense before adding subordinate clauses.

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