Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, the popoulation are increasing day by day in some nations. a large number of young adults rather then the number of senior ctizens. i will discuss the advanges and outweight the disadvantags in the upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, there are several advantages to increased population of ypong adults. first and foremost is that financially stable in their own life. younger are hard working people. most of spend time to learning new skills and expand their own bussiness. it helps to earn more money and fullfil their needs. another facoter is that ability. younger people do long hours work and focus in their ambitions. for example, many individuals do study while work because want to be independent and financially support to family. therefor, adults population are increaed these days. people can oragnise their schduale and spend proper time to education and family and friends.

furthermore, there are some disadvantages of the population of older people are less increased in currently. first of all younger are not spend time with their family member specially senior citizens. due to he fact that technology and spend quality time. some youngers are busy in their working life and spend long hours in work that is the main reason individual can not spend time with their elder people. additionally, some adults are not living with their elder peple because want to spend money on the medicines and neccesory things in this situtaion who people think that waste of oney to spend on senior citizens.conseqently, some individual think that burden to elerly people. and can not live with them and faincially support also. some younger people keep aged parents to care giver due to they are old and do not knowledge about standard of living.

in conclusion, Although, there are several adavantages of population are increasing day by day because younger make a paln, management of life, learning new skills and become in the life. but some crons of this issues such as understanding, taking care, and quality time with their family and friends.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a position in the introduction, saying you will argue that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and you include points about young adults’ work, skills and independence as well as their care for older relatives. However, the position is not maintained clearly: the conclusion mentions advantages but does not directly compare them with the disadvantages or explain why they are outweighed. Several ideas are also unclear or insufficiently supported. For example, the claim that young adults are “financially stable” is not explained, while the discussion of older people being a burden shifts the focus from the effects on society to attitudes within families. Develop a few relevant points with clear explanations and examples, and make the comparison explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an identifiable introduction, body paragraphs and conclusion, and it uses signposts such as “To commence with,” “furthermore” and “in conclusion.” These features give the reader a basic sense of structure. However, progression within the paragraphs is often difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from financial stability to studying while working, then to organising schedules, without showing how each point supports the argument. The second paragraph combines reduced family time, technology, medicine costs and care arrangements, with some relationships between ideas left unclear. Linking expressions are sometimes mechanical or inaccurately used. Group related points, use clearer topic sentences, and explain how each example connects to your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “financially support,” “senior citizens,” “quality time” and “learning new skills.” This shows an effort to discuss work, family responsibilities and ageing. However, the range is limited and many spelling, word-form and collocation errors make parts of the response difficult to understand, such as “popoulation,” “advanges,” “faincially” and “waste of oney.” Some phrases are also imprecise, including “younger are hard working people” and “burden to elerly people.” Build accuracy with common topic vocabulary and check spelling and natural word combinations. For instance, use “young adults” consistently and describe the specific financial or caregiving pressure rather than relying on vague wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both short statements and longer sentences, including a reason clause beginning “because” and a contrast introduced by “Although.” However, the range is limited, and attempts to form longer sentences are frequently faulty, so meaning is sometimes hard to follow. Examples include “the population are increasing,” “most of spend time to learning,” and “some youngers are busy … and spend long hours,” where agreement, missing subjects and verb patterns are problematic. Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention; several ideas run together, while some fragments, such as “first and foremost is that financially stable,” lack a complete clause. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add one clear subordinate clause at a time.

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