Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years the population of some countries includes a relatively large numbers of young adults, compared with the number of older citizen has become inceasingly common. in my view the advantages of this trend siginificantly outweigh its disadvantages because of working for a long times and younger people had a much more energy then the older people.

On the one hand there are certain drawbacks of this developments. the main disadvantages is when a country had a large number of young people government have problems what employment they create for a public there is a lot of competiation of a any sector jobs. furthermore a large young population create a crimes rates more as compare to older citizen. they become unempoyemt for a long period. young individuals have a not much experience then the older people and they can easily get a frustrataion.

On the other hand i believe the benefits are far more significant. firstly yong adults are usely energetic,innovation and eager to work, which drives productivity in various industries like technology and manufacturing yong people had a much better mindset as compare to other. young individuals finish their work more better they they get knowledge from there. when a country have a young people more government uses in different governments work. its develop the infrastrcuture and economic growth of a county.

in conclusion despite some minor negeative consequences,i believe the advantages of young adults are more then the older citizen are much more prominent because they provide energetic at this work

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear answer to the question, stating that the advantages of a young population outweigh the disadvantages, and you address both sides. Relevant points include employment competition and crime as drawbacks, and energy, productivity, and economic growth as benefits. However, these ideas are mostly asserted rather than explained with specific examples or clear cause-and-effect reasoning; for instance, the link between a young population and higher crime is not supported. The conclusion repeats your position but does not add a developed final reason. The response is 236 words, so it is 14 words below the required minimum; this limits the space available to develop your arguments. Extend the main points with a relevant example and explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on disadvantages, one on advantages, and a conclusion. The contrast between “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” helps signal the two sides, and “Firstly” introduces a benefit. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven, and several ideas are placed together without showing how they connect. For example, the disadvantages paragraph moves from employment competition to crime and then frustration without explaining the links. Some references, such as “they” and “there,” are unclear, while repeated use of “young people” makes the writing feel repetitive. Use clearer topic sentences, connect each supporting point to the main claim, and make pronoun references explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “employment,” “competition,” “productivity,” “industries,” and “economic growth,” so the reader can follow the general argument. However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes meaning difficult to interpret. Phrases such as “a much more energy,” “finish their work more better,” and “uses in different governments work” are not natural or precise. Spelling errors, including “inceasingly,” “competiaition,” and “infrastrcuture,” also reduce clarity. Build a bank of accurate collocations for employment and economic development, and check spelling and word forms carefully. Aim to express each idea with precise vocabulary rather than repeating broad terms such as “young people” and “work.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including a relative clause in “energetic, innovation and eager to work, which drives productivity.” However, control is inconsistent, and frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, verb forms, articles, and punctuation can make the reader work to understand your meaning. For example, “the main disadvantages is” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “when a country have a young people” combines an incorrect verb form with an unnecessary article. The opening sentence is also difficult to follow because its clauses do not fit together clearly. Practise building accurate basic sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check agreement, tense consistency, articles, and sentence boundaries during proofreading.

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