Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

To begin with the total population of a country is important this helps the government to know the number of persons in a particular country, at present time the population of some countries include a good number of young adults than older adults. young adults are more energetic than older adults and they can adapt faster, young adults are willingly to learn new things, unlearn and understand things from different perspectives whereas older adults tend to believe that they may seem to know something because they've been alive for a reasonable number of years. young adults learn things faster for example a young adults find things easier and can accomplish tasks faster compare to older adults because they sometimes may have health issues for health conditions that aging maybe a risk factor. furthermore young adults are very inquisitive whereas older adults may feel reluctant to inquire new things. young adult have the spirit of willingness, and are more knowledgeable in technology for example older adults may not have been opportuned to have access to technology, moreover young adults may have better ideas and some maybe more knowledgeable than older adults. in conclusion i think young adults population outweigh the disadvantage although we need older adults as much as we need young adults

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You take a position in the conclusion, saying that the benefits of a larger young-adult population outweigh the disadvantages, and you give relevant reasons such as energy, adaptability, learning, and technology skills. However, the response addresses the question only partially: it mainly lists advantages and does not explain the disadvantages or compare the two sides in a developed way. The opening comments about population figures do not help establish your argument, and examples remain general rather than showing how these qualities benefit a country. The response is also 38 words below the required minimum. To strengthen the answer, state your position clearly in the introduction, develop a balanced comparison, and support each main point with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a recognisable line of thought: you move from young adults’ energy and adaptability to learning, health, curiosity, and technology, then give a concluding opinion. Linking expressions such as “for example,” “furthermore,” and “in conclusion” help signal relationships between ideas. However, the response is presented as one long paragraph, so the argument lacks clear stages and progression. Several points are repeated or placed together without explaining their connection, and the opening sentence about population totals interrupts the discussion. Some transitions, including “moreover,” introduce another claim rather than developing the comparison. Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion, and make each paragraph focus on one connected idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary to discuss the topic, including “adapt,” “different perspectives,” “inquisitive,” “technology,” and “health issues.” These choices show some ability to express more than basic ideas, and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, several phrases are imprecise or unnatural, such as “young adults are willingly to learn,” “opportuned to have access,” and “young adults population.” Repetition of “young adults” and “older adults” also limits flexibility. Aim for more precise collocations and vary references to the groups, for example, “younger generations” and “older people.” Check word forms and spelling as well, and choose expressions that describe social or economic effects rather than relying on broad claims about knowledge.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use clauses to explain reasons, as in the sentence beginning “young adults are more energetic” and the example about health conditions. This shows an effort to connect ideas rather than relying only on short statements. However, the range is limited, and errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles, and verb forms occur frequently enough to make parts difficult to follow. For instance, the opening joins several independent ideas with commas, “a young adults find things easier” has an agreement problem, and “young adults population” is missing a grammatical determiner. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking that each sentence has a clear subject and verb.

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