Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

At the prensent the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults as compared to older people.

At the present time the advantages are less as compared to the situation outweigh the disadvantages therefore the over population can caused the unemployment and lack of food and jobs issues we can disscused the boths disadvantages.

The first disadvantage is unempolyment which caused by the over population for example The government can announce the few jobs like 150 and the people can participate people like 3000 due to over population that is main reason of unemopolyment. The second is lack of food because less production of wheat and crop and ultiomately results into femine. The third main reason is lack of residence when the population is increased beacuse the world don,t serve the people a place to live. china is most overpopulated country in the world. they have less opportunity and jobs in the country and faced many other difficultries. One of the main reason which can less ecnomy in the country. The second is india is most overpopulated country in the world there is less jobs and umemolyment is one of the main reason in the country. these things are also effect on the ecnomy of the country.

In my opinion the government should take action to control the population to give the awareness to the people through seminar and diferent ways. if the government should not control the population then the country turned into femine and the people are die due to femine. the government should also imcreased the job for people to control the unempolyment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You take a position that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages and give relevant concerns, including unemployment, food shortages and housing pressure. However, the response does not explain the advantages of a large young-adult population, so it only partially addresses the comparison asked for. Several points are asserted rather than developed: the examples about 150 jobs for 3,000 applicants and conditions in China and India need clearer, accurate explanation and a direct link to the question. The conclusion focuses on population control and job creation but does not weigh the two sides. To strengthen the response, discuss at least one plausible advantage, then explain why your chosen side is more significant, supporting each point with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening, a paragraph listing disadvantages, and a concluding opinion. Sequencing words such as “The first disadvantage,” “The second,” and “In my opinion” help signal the direction of the argument. However, ideas are not arranged coherently throughout. The opening sentence about advantages is difficult to follow, and the long middle paragraph moves between unemployment, food, housing, China, India and the economy without clear links or separate development. Repeated references to “the second” also make the progression confusing. Use one paragraph for advantages and another for disadvantages, with each paragraph centred on a clear main idea and connected explanations.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “unemployment,” “over population,” “lack of food,” “residence” and “economy,” which makes the general subject recognisable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling errors—such as “unempolyment,” “disscused,” “femine” and “difficultries”—make the writing less clear and weaken control of vocabulary. Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, for example “less production of wheat and crop” and “the world don’t serve the people a place to live.” Aim for accurate spelling and more natural collocations, such as “limited job opportunities,” “food shortages” and “pressure on housing.” Vary repeated words like “people,” “country” and “reason” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a few longer sentences, including the example about the government announcing 150 jobs for 3,000 applicants, but most structures are simple or joined in ways that make relationships unclear. Errors are frequent: “the advantages are less as compared to the situation outweigh the disadvantages” has a faulty sentence structure, while “the government should also imcreased the job” has an incorrect verb form and number pattern. There are also problems with articles, agreement and punctuation, as in “china is most overpopulated country” and “the people are die.” These errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Practise building clear subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses accurately and check verb forms and sentence boundaries.

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