Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this current era, the over birth of several countries includes a relatively huge number of young adults, comparison with the number of older people. There are several advantages and disadvantages of this situation.

On the first hand, there are many advantages of this situation which mean the higher population in the country have big awards. The economy of that country are cross the limits with the population and take huge amount of income from the government. Secondly, the child become young before the age have also a positive thing beacuse child are more intelligent as compare to old person. Thirdly, child knows many things about the technology like mobile phones and they are also connect with the internet more then old person. Lastly, if a child born and he were intelligent in his young age he is very good for his country to express his thoughts.

On the other hand, if we talk about the disadvantages of this situation there are also depends on several because if we talk about the advantages we must talk about the disadvantages, due to advantages must have the disadvantages. Moreover, child who become a mature in his young age face more disease like hypertension and anxity compare to old person. However, the young adult have no idea what their parents done with them they say we knows everything but in reality they know nothing. Last but not least, the child who adult in their young age in different country they married early.

Wrap up of this situation of the over growing in worldwide includes a relatively big number of young adult compared with the amount of older people in this current era.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response recognises the topic and gives points on both sides, including possible economic benefits and concerns about health and early marriage. However, it only minimally answers the central question: it never clearly states whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Several claims are difficult to connect to the age structure described—for example, “the child become young before the age” and the claim that young adults are more intelligent than older people. The economic point is also asserted without explaining how a larger working-age population might increase productivity or support public services. To strengthen the response, state a definite position in the introduction and conclusion, then develop a few relevant points with clear explanations or examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic overall structure, with an opening, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a final sentence. Signposting such as “On the first hand,” “On the other hand,” and “Lastly” helps readers recognise the intended sections. However, progression within the paragraphs is often unclear: the advantages move from the economy to children’s intelligence and technology without explaining how these points relate to a large young-adult population. The disadvantage paragraph also repeats the idea that advantages must have disadvantages rather than advancing the argument. Some linking phrases are used mechanically or inaccurately. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, explain it, and use references and transitions that show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a basic range of topic-related vocabulary, including “population,” “economy,” “technology,” and “hypertension,” and attempts to signal contrast and sequence. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several word choices or collocations make the meaning difficult to follow, such as “over birth,” “big awards,” “cross the limits,” and “the child who adult.” The repeated use of “child” also blurs the distinction between children and young adults, which is central to the task. Spelling errors such as “beacuse” and “anxity” further reduce accuracy. Build a more precise set of terms for the topic—such as “working-age population,” “labour force,” and “dependency ratio”—and check that each phrase expresses the intended idea naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and longer sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “if,” “because,” and “who,” and the paragraphing makes the intended argument partly accessible. However, the range is limited, and errors are frequent enough to make some sentences difficult to understand. Examples include “the economy … are cross the limits,” “the child become young,” and “they say we knows everything,” where agreement and verb forms are not controlled. Articles, plurals, and sentence construction are also inconsistent, as in “a child born” and “the young adult have no idea.” Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Proofread each sentence for agreement, verb form, and whether its clauses form a complete, clear thought.

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