Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, ration of young adults are larger than older people in many countries.From my perspective, advantages are more than disadvantages.

On one hand, there are several reasons why young adults are more important than older people. However, young people work fast and better. They can give good outcome of the work. Apart from this, new generation slove many problem with their critical thinking and identify best solution of the problem. Moreover, technological advancement is increased and several new innovations are made in modern society. Young adults learn easily and capture all informations in short period of time. They can understand new innovations and try to identify how this innovations are made people's life easy. For instance, my friend made a web page in 2020. Now, this web page is used by individual in many areas. Some people make notes and put reminder in this web page.

On other hand, older people's populations decrease in recent times. However, older people are equal important becuase they teach us several cultural belief, norms and rituals which society has followed. Apart from this, older people shape our behaviour and it give knowledge about several historical places. Subsequently, older people have reduce capacity of thinking and remebering. So, they forget several items. Older people suffer from weak immunity, so they suffer several acute and chronic diseases. So, these diseases create burden on economical condition of some countries. For instance, my aunty has diabetes, so she can suffer several diabetic problem such as glucoma, hypogylcemia, hyperglycemia.

In conclusion, younger people is more important than the older people for many countries. Young people learn easily and develop several new technological advancement. Older people may suffer several problems that might be impact on the economical condition of the country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear in the introduction and conclusion: you believe the advantages of a younger population outweigh the disadvantages. You give relevant points about productivity, learning technology, and older people’s cultural knowledge and health needs. However, the response only partly develops the comparison required by the question. For example, the web-page anecdote illustrates innovation, but it does not explain how a large young population benefits a country overall; similarly, the discussion of illness focuses on one relative rather than the wider disadvantages. The claim that young adults are “more important” also shifts the focus from weighing advantages against disadvantages. Explain the effects on society and directly compare their significance to make the argument more complete and convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting sides, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “On one hand,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first body paragraph moves from work performance to problem-solving, technology, and a personal example without showing how each point connects to the central comparison. “However” is also used where the relationship between ideas is not a contrast, and repeated “So” makes some links mechanical. References such as “this innovations” and “these diseases” are not always clear or accurate. Group related points and use more precise transitions and referencing to make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “critical thinking,” “technological advancement,” “cultural belief,” and “chronic diseases,” which helps communicate the main ideas. There are also attempts to use less common terms, but inaccurate word choice, spelling, and collocation are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “ration” for the proportion of a population, “slove” for solve, “capture all informations,” and “economical condition” where economic conditions would be more natural. Some phrases are vague or repetitive, such as “several problem” and “several new technological advancement.” Build accuracy with common collocations and check spelling and word forms; this will make your vocabulary more effective without requiring unnecessarily complex words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including clauses introduced by “because” and “so,” and the overall meaning is usually understandable. However, the range of structures is limited, and errors occur frequently in agreement, articles, plurals, and verb forms. For example, “advantages are more than disadvantages” needs articles, while “younger people is” has incorrect subject–verb agreement. In “older people are equal important,” the adjective form is also incorrect, and “it give knowledge” does not agree with its subject. Some longer sentences combine several ideas without secure grammatical control. Practise building accurate sentences first, then extend them with subordinate clauses; also check agreement and singular/plural forms during proofreading.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.