Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In todays world the population of young adults increases significantly in some countries especially with respect to older people. In such countries i believe advantages outweigh the disadvantages when well managed by country's goverments.

Some argue that population growth led to some serious ramifications for instant, less jobs, food shortages,pollution etc. Neverthless of that i believe the country is in benefit if the young population is dominant . more young adults create more resources by serving their country in their own way . it is substancial for coutry to thrive but if handled correctly by the law makers. just like china where young adults built the countries economy as a direct result of government innitiatives. They understood that ghe real problem lies in education not in population . they handled these adults with extra ordinary skills which lead to countries prosperity .

Young adults with great skills makes the country a world of wonder. in several fields like tech, space, medicine, sports they proved their po

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear overall view in the opening: “advantages outweigh the disadvantages,” and you briefly acknowledge possible drawbacks such as fewer jobs, food shortages and pollution. However, the response addresses the question only partially. The disadvantages are listed rather than explained, and the advantages are asserted through broad claims about young adults creating resources and helping a country thrive, without showing how these benefits outweigh the costs. The China example is relevant in principle, but it is not sufficiently explained or connected to the comparison. The response also ends mid-sentence (“they proved their po”), leaving an important point unfinished. It contains 166 words, below the required 250, so there is not enough development to support the position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation: the opening gives your position, the next paragraph introduces disadvantages and then argues for benefits, and the final paragraph begins another supporting point. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the response stops mid-sentence and does not reach a conclusion. Connections between claims are often abrupt; for example, “more young adults create more resources” is followed by the China example without explaining the link. Some transitions, such as “Nevertheless,” signal contrast, but the ideas after them are not developed into a clear sequence. To improve, use complete paragraphs with one main point each, explain how each example supports that point, and finish by directly comparing the advantages and disadvantages.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt some topic-appropriate vocabulary, including “food shortages,” “government initiatives,” “education,” “skills” and “prosperity,” and the meaning is generally recoverable. There is also some effort to use less common expressions, such as “serious ramifications.” However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make reading harder: “substancial,” “coutry,” “innitiatives” and “ghe” appear in the response. Some phrases are imprecise or unnatural, including “the country is in benefit” and “a world of wonder.” Aim for accurate collocations and a more precise range: for instance, describe young adults as contributing to economic growth or expanding the skilled workforce. Proofreading spelling and choosing natural phrases would make your ideas clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use some simple sentences and attempt longer structures, such as “Some argue that population growth led to some serious ramifications …” and the conditional phrase “if handled correctly by the law makers.” However, control is uneven, and errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles and punctuation occur frequently enough to affect clarity. Examples include “Young adults with great skills makes,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “In todays world,” which needs an apostrophe. Several sentences begin with lowercase letters after full stops, and the final sentence is incomplete. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, checking singular and plural agreement, and using punctuation to separate ideas. More accurate control of these basics would make your attempted complex sentences easier to follow.

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