Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In recent years, the population of some of country has been raised and has reached to new height. A significant numbers of people believe tha the citizens of many has more young people to compare with older people. This essay examins that the advantage of this situation outweigh the disadvantage.

To begin, there several reasons why this situation has more benefit. Initially, in this modern era, young people are well known about technical knowledge to than olders where it might be more beneficial for youths. Secondly ,adults enbles to

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the topic and gives a clear overall position in “the advantage of this situation outweigh the disadvantage.” It also begins to offer relevant reasons, such as young people’s technical knowledge. However, the discussion is only minimally developed: the second point ends at “adults enbles to,” and there is no explanation, example, or consideration of disadvantages. The essay therefore does not adequately answer whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. It also contains only 89 words, well below the required 250, leaving the argument incomplete. To improve, develop at least two relevant points with explanations and examples, address the opposing side, and finish with a conclusion that confirms your judgement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introductory paragraph is followed by a body paragraph, and phrases such as “To begin,” “Initially,” and “Secondly” signal the order of points. This gives the reader some sense of direction. However, the progression is not sustained because the second supporting point stops mid-sentence, and there is no concluding paragraph. The relationship between the opening claim about population growth and the essay’s focus on the proportion of young people is also unclear. To make the organisation more coherent, use one paragraph for each developed reason, connect each reason to its consequence, and include a conclusion. Ensure each paragraph contains a complete idea rather than relying mainly on sequencing words.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “population,” “technical knowledge,” “citizens,” and “modern era,” and it attempts more formal phrasing such as “A significant numbers of people believe.” However, inaccurate word choice, spelling, and word forms often make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “has been raised” does not naturally describe population growth, while “reached to new height” is an awkward collocation. Errors such as “tha,” “examins,” and “enbles” also reduce clarity. Build a more reliable range of topic vocabulary and check spelling and collocations. For instance, use “has increased,” “reached a new high,” and “young adults” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “where it might be more beneficial for youths.” Some sentence boundaries and basic structures are understandable, but grammatical control is inconsistent. Examples include “some of country,” “A significant numbers,” and “there several reasons,” which show problems with articles, number agreement, and missing verbs. The sentence “young people are well known about technical knowledge to than olders” is also structurally unclear, and the final clause “adults enbles to” is incomplete. To improve, practise complete subject–verb structures, singular and plural agreement, and accurate comparisons. Proofread each sentence to ensure it has a clear main clause and a complete meaning.

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