Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, population in other countries has becoming increasingly common. Although this trend offers several advantages, it also has certain disadvantages. This essay will examine both sides of the issue.

One of the main advantage youngsters are the reason for increasing population compared to eldery people that the youth contribute to the development of a country. This is because young adults are more familiar with modern technology and digital tools. They have technical skills and innovative ideas. Moreover, they increase productivity, support the countries economy and they can establish new businesses with creative ideas. For example, in india many young professionals work in IT companies and develop digital services, software and innovative technologies. Therefore, this can contributes to national development and different industries.

Despite these benefits, there are also some drawbacks to consider. The most significant disadvantage is that younger generation have lack of employment opportunities and job competition. This is because the number of job seekers may increase. However, employment opportunities may not grow at the same rate. Another reason is lack of experience. so young employees may have limited professional experience. They may require additional training. For instance, in developing countries thousands of graduates compete for a limited number of vacancies every year. Consequently, this lead to unemployment and financial difficulties.

In conclusion, a higher proportion of young adults than eldery people has both positive and negative aspects. While people can introduce new technologies in different industries and they may also struggle to find suitable jobs. The overall impact depends on rising population and conditions of jobs in a country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages and include relevant examples, such as young professionals in India’s IT sector and graduates competing for vacancies. However, the response does not clearly answer the central question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The introduction says the essay will examine both sides, while the conclusion says the impact depends on employment conditions; neither gives a definite comparative judgement. The benefits of technology and productivity are relevant, but they are asserted more than explained, and the disadvantages focus mainly on employment without weighing their importance against the benefits. State your position clearly and develop the comparison throughout, explaining why one side is more significant.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion. Ideas generally progress in a sensible order, and linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Despite these benefits,” and “Consequently” help guide the reader. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some stronger control through paragraphing and progression. However, some links are mechanical, and the opening sentence of the first body paragraph is difficult to follow, making the relationship between the main claim and its explanation unclear. The conclusion also repeats the two sides rather than drawing them together into a clear answer. Use clearer topic sentences and make each paragraph’s central point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “productivity,” “innovative ideas,” “employment opportunities,” and “financial difficulties.” These choices allow you to discuss both economic benefits and employment challenges, and the examples are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “digital services” and “professional experience.” However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “population in other countries has becoming increasingly common,” “the countries economy,” and “lack of experience” in this context. Spelling and word-form slips such as “eldery” also reduce precision. Aim for natural collocations and check spelling and possessive forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, using structures such as “Although this trend offers several advantages” and “This is because the number of job seekers may increase.” Meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction remain frequent enough to limit accuracy. For example, “has becoming” should be “has become,” “One of the main advantage” needs a plural noun, and “this can contributes” should be “this can contribute.” The sentence beginning “One of the main advantage youngsters are…” is also structurally incomplete or confused. Review subject–verb agreement and modal verb patterns, and revise long sentences so each has a clear subject and main verb.

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