Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In today's world , the most hot debate topic is population wether it's increasing or decreasing especially for the young generation. Nowaday's in some countries the population of young adults are high as compared to older generation. Today i will discuss about advantages of this situation, and will see can we overcome the disadvantages or not.

To begin with an example, Japan is facing a huge decline in young population, which cause multiple national crises and the Government is doing lot of effects to improve this situation but unfortunately it required a lot of time. On other hand, some other nations facing this same issue.

Now, we discuss about nations who have a large number of young adults, well if we see most of are rising nation like Pakistan ,India and China. Let's take an example to understand the advantages, In China adults have high percentage of population which helps to boost their country economy, they are doing different type of bussiness. Another example is Pakistan , In Pakistan high number of army personals belong to young age people which makes them 4th rank in the world.

In conclusion, i feel like older people have already spent their lives. And now it's a very fast era we should need fast generations to compete in a world. My suggestion is that ,those countries who already facing this situation they should introduce some rewards to boost young population. If this thing will be not solved soon maybe we will not see Japan in future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a broadly clear position in favour of countries having more young adults, and the examples of China and Pakistan are relevant to that view. However, the response addresses the question only partially: it does not explain the disadvantages of a younger population or directly weigh them against the advantages. The opening refers to population decline, and the Japan example concerns a shortage of young people, so it does not clearly illustrate the situation in the prompt. The claim about young adults boosting China’s economy is also asserted rather than explained, while the army example does not establish a wider social or economic benefit. Develop both sides and make the comparison explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposting such as “To begin with” and “In conclusion” helps readers recognise these stages. However, the overall progression is not consistently logical: the first body paragraph discusses Japan’s declining young population, then the next shifts to countries with many young adults, without connecting the contrast to the question of advantages versus disadvantages. Phrases such as “Now, we discuss” are mechanical, and the conclusion introduces a recommendation about rewards rather than summarising a balanced comparison. Organise the body around the advantages and disadvantages, and use linking expressions to show how each point relates to your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “population,” “decline,” “crises,” and “boost,” which makes the general subject understandable. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-choice and collocation errors make parts awkward or unclear: “the most hot debate topic,” “doing lot of effects,” and “army personals” are examples. Repetition of “young population,” “example” and “situation” also limits precision. Aim to use accurate phrases for demographic and economic effects, and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you explain the benefits and costs rather than relying on broad claims.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including a conditional in “If this thing will be not solved soon,” but complex structures are often faulty and errors occur frequently. Examples include subject–verb agreement in “the population … are high” and “which cause,” missing or incorrect articles and prepositions in “On other hand,” and inconsistent capitalisation and punctuation. The final conditional also uses an unsuitable verb form; a clearer pattern would be “If this issue is not addressed soon, …”. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate agreement, articles and conditional forms, and use shorter sentences when you are unsure of a complex structure.

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