Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

As far as this topic is concerned, I would like to say that the big number young population has always been debatable and now has become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial while others reject this notion. The substantial influence of this trend has sparked the controversy over the potential impact in recent years.

From my perspective, the former proposition appears to be more rational. This essay will further elaborate my views for favoring the positive or negative impact of this trend and thus will lead to a logical conclusion.

Analyzing the statement further, the primary reason behind this matter is higher rate of fertility, and also mortalities happening in old people is higher. Categorically discussing,

It is good for country having a significant number of young people which is good for a country's growth. It cannot be ignored that the benefits behind this is that especially in our country, it has far-reaching consequences. It provides boom in economy, cheap labor due to availability of peoples.

On the other hand enormous young population is challenging for the management and government. Moving further, it is pertinent to mention that it is the basic duty of the government to provide safe and stable society for the betterment of public. It is imperative for the authorities concerned to look into the factor behind this matter and take a drastic actions to utilize the young peoples and provide policies that how a country can get benefits by utilizing the population for the rise of country.

To encapsulate, I would like to appeal to the learned figures to come forward, focus their gaze at this matter and launch a vigorous campaign to handle the issues of youngsters across the society globally.

In short, the foci of the matter is that young population is a blessing for a country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall preference for the advantages, especially in the statement that a young population is “a blessing for a country,” and you mention economic growth and the availability of labour. However, the response only partially develops the comparison asked for. The disadvantages are introduced as a challenge for government management, but no specific consequences—such as pressure on education, housing or employment—are explained. The advantages also remain broad: “boom in economy” and “cheap labor” are asserted without a concrete example or explanation of how young adults contribute. The opening discusses the topic in general terms rather than establishing a precise position. Develop both sides with relevant examples and explain explicitly why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some overall organisation: an introduction, a discussion of benefits, a contrasting paragraph about challenges, and a conclusion. Connectors such as “On the other hand” help signal a change in direction. However, progression is not consistently clear. The opening repeats the idea of controversy, and the sentence “This essay will further elaborate my views for favoring the positive or negative impact” does not clarify the argument. The benefits paragraph shifts abruptly from fertility and mortality to economic growth, while “Categorically discussing,” is left as an incomplete transition. The final paragraph introduces a general appeal rather than drawing together the comparison. Use one clear paragraph for each side, link each supporting point to the main position, and make the conclusion directly answer the outweigh question.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of formal and topic-related vocabulary, including “substantial influence,” “far-reaching consequences,” “fertility,” and “utilize.” This shows an effort to move beyond basic wording. However, several choices are unnatural or imprecise, which makes parts of the argument harder to follow: “big number young population,” “cheap labor due to availability of peoples,” and “learned figures” do not express the intended ideas naturally. Some formal phrases, such as “focus their gaze” and “launch a vigorous campaign,” are also poorly matched to this essay. Aim for accurate, direct collocations and avoid ornate expressions when a simpler phrase is clearer. More precise vocabulary for employment, public services and economic contribution would help explain the relevant ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning “while others reject this notion” and “that it is the basic duty of the government.” However, control is uneven, and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. Examples include “the big number young population,” “It is good for country having,” and “the benefits behind this is,” where articles, sentence structure and subject–verb agreement are problematic. The phrase “take a drastic actions” also has an agreement and number error, while “policies that how a country can get benefits” is not a well-formed clause. Some sentences are fragments, notably “Categorically discussing,”. Build accuracy first with clear complete sentences, checking articles, singular/plural forms and agreement; then extend them with subordinate clauses.

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