Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Population is made by each individual , who is living in a society ,it carried each group of age but in this era , some country had big number of young citizen, compartively to olders .

In this kind of circumstances , I strongly disagrees although the peole give the specific number to the population collectively but each and every person has its own role , value and contribution towards the society and in a country ,no doubt the young adults are very much energetic and actively participate in every field , they are more confident , more independent and clear towards their plans . Although he young generation , suffer alot with their mental health but they are dealing with it a proper insight , they knows moving on by theirselfs .These all the factors are really significent for any country and its development but it cannot replace the value of elders or scenior citizens , who already contributes alot in the society. olders are our precious treasure , if there would be less numbers this can not be benificial for the country at all , the elders are mush more strong mentally , they gives the very big lessons of life they gives blessings to their offsprings , basically they are a true wellwisher of the childrens and for the country .

in the end i must mentioned that it is a big loss for any country it there is the reduction og numbers in older peoples , and only young peoples are there in the country .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a clear position against a country having relatively few older people, and you give relevant points about young adults’ energy and older people’s experience and guidance. However, the response only partly answers the comparison in the question: it does not clearly weigh the advantages against the disadvantages, and the discussion of young people’s mental health is not explained or connected to the overall judgement. The claim that older people are “strong mentally” and offer “lessons of life” could be developed with a specific example, such as how their experience benefits families or workplaces. To strengthen the response, state explicitly whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, then explain and support both sides before reaching a reasoned conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a recognisable overall shape: you introduce the population issue, discuss young adults and older people, and finish by restating your concern about fewer older citizens. Some linking words, including “Although” and “in the end,” help signal relationships between ideas. However, the response is presented as one long paragraph, so the progression between the introduction, comparison and conclusion is difficult to follow. Several ideas are joined together without clear transitions, and “Although” introduces a contrast that is not completed clearly. Organise the response into separate paragraphs and give each one a clear purpose. Use linking expressions to show whether a point is an advantage, disadvantage, example or conclusion, rather than relying on repeated “and” or “they.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “contribution,” “development,” “independent” and “citizens,” and you attempt to express ideas about social value and experience. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or awkward choices make parts of the response difficult to understand, including “olders,” “scenior citizens,” “precious treasure” and “true wellwisher.” Spelling errors such as “significent,” “benificial” and “peole” also reduce clarity. Aim for accurate, natural phrases rather than translating expressions directly. For example, describe older people as a source of “valuable experience” and young adults as an “energetic workforce.” Check spelling and use standard terms such as “older people” consistently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and subordinate clauses, for example, “Although the young generation…” and “if there would be less numbers…,” but these structures are often faulty. Errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence boundaries occur frequently: “I strongly disagrees,” “they knows,” and “who already contributes” do not match their subjects, while the opening sentence runs several clauses together without effective punctuation. These errors sometimes make the intended meaning hard to follow. Build accuracy first with clear simple sentences, then add complex structures carefully. For instance, write “Young adults are energetic and participate actively in many fields,” and “Older people contribute valuable experience to society.” Review subject–verb agreement and use full stops to separate complete ideas.

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