Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The population trend of some countries have become quite noticable recently because of the presence of relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. This can be because of the various reasons. However, I believe that the advantages of this sitauion do not outweigh the disadvantages because of what it can indicate.Also, old people and their mind are the treasures for any country.

To begin with, presence of the large number of young population has lots of pros for the country. However, the advantages can't shade the shadow on disadvantages. Having a lower number of old population usually indicates poor health facilities and less advancement in science and technology of the given country. For example, the countries like Japan and China which are so advanced in technology and medicine have a considerable number of active old population. The people there live upto 90 years easily according to some resources and also maintain a healthy lifestyle. On the contrary, the underdeveloped countries have very less life expectancy compared to that of Japan.

Another important disadvantage lacking the wisdom and knowledge which can be gained from the experience of elderly. There is no objection to the truth that adult population is the working population and the development of any country highly depends on its working population. However, we can't deny the fact that the present elderly population used to be the active working population in their youth. They have immense knowlegde and experience of working in various fields and their wisdom and guidance can definitely be the torch light for paving the path of development for future. Moreover, the traditions, cultures and languages are the valuable assets of any nation and these things flow towards the younger generation from the old generation.

In the nutshell, having large number of young adults is very important for any country but it can't outweigh the disadvantages. A country where the citizens live a healthy life with a good life expectancy is worth living. The youth should work actively for the development of the country with the proper use of wisdom and knowledge gained from the older people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you argue that the disadvantages of a large young-adult population outweigh its advantages, and you address both sides by acknowledging young people’s contribution to work and development before focusing on older people’s health, experience and cultural role. The examples of Japan and China help illustrate your point about life expectancy. However, the claim that a smaller older population indicates poor healthcare or limited scientific progress is not fully established, and the comparison with underdeveloped countries is broad. The advantages of a youthful population are also acknowledged but not developed with a specific example. To strengthen the response, explain these links more carefully and support both sides with more precise evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, with the main position maintained throughout. Connectors such as “To begin with,” “However,” and “Moreover” help signal relationships between ideas. At times, though, the progression is less clear because a paragraph shifts between points without fully explaining their connection. For example, the first body paragraph moves from the benefits of young people to healthcare and life expectancy, while “Another important disadvantage lacking the wisdom and knowledge” begins without a clear grammatical or logical link. Some transitions, including repeated uses of “However,” feel mechanical. Use clearer topic sentences and make each paragraph develop one central point in a deliberate sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “life expectancy,” “active working population,” “traditions,” and “valuable assets.” These choices help communicate ideas about demographics and society. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “shade the shadow on disadvantages,” “old population,” and “torch light for paving the path.” Spelling errors such as “noticable,” “sitauion,” and “knowlegde” also reduce accuracy. Some expressions are repeated, particularly “development” and “wisdom and knowledge.” Aim for more natural collocations and precise terms, such as “older people” or “elderly population,” and proofread spelling. This would make your vocabulary more fluent and appropriate to an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “which,” and “that,” and most of your meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical errors nevertheless occur across the response. For example, “The population trend … have become” has subject–verb disagreement, while “Another important disadvantage lacking…” is an incomplete sentence. Articles and plural forms are also inconsistent in phrases such as “presence of the large number” and “a good life expectancy.” Punctuation is occasionally missing, as in “indicate.Also,” and some long sentences would benefit from clearer clause boundaries. Review agreement, sentence completeness, articles and punctuation, then check each sentence for a clear subject and main verb.

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