Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, there has been a significant icrease in number of younger generation people who live in metropolis, while ldeer generation don't. This has a several benefits ,but it also has negative sides that should be considered. I firmly believe that this trend's advantages outweigh the disadvantages due to the fact that it offers more opportunities to young individuals and study other cultures.

One of the major reasons is that living in developed city gives more opportunities to young people. Nowadays, city has been developing so rapidly, therefore younger generation go to the city to find better occupation ,meet so manny people, and be close to the modern technology. For example; in UK, it is proven that new graduatees who decided to live in urbarn city , they find a better job than othern who don't choose to live. Consequently , living in modern city leads to better lifestyle especially for young people who starts their live.

Another vital factor to consider is that it gives a chance to learn about other religion and culture. In big city there are so many people who are extremely different so they learn from others about their history and country. For example; in USA , high schoolers who grew up in big cities are much more open-minded and easygoing about other cultures. As a result it illustrates that living in big cities leads to diversity.

In conclusion, number of young adults living in city has a several drawback but ther are more advantages due to more opportunities and diversity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view in the introduction—“advantages outweigh the disadvantages”—and identify two relevant benefits: better opportunities for young people and exposure to other cultures. However, the response only partially addresses the actual question, which concerns countries with a relatively large young-adult population compared with older people. Your discussion shifts to young people moving to cities, so the central population-age situation is not examined directly. The disadvantages are mentioned only generally (“negative sides” and “drawback”) and are not explained, making the comparison behind your position difficult to assess. To strengthen the response, discuss specific effects of a younger population, such as a larger workforce, alongside possible pressures on employment or public services, and support both sides before explaining why one outweighs the other.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate benefits, and a conclusion that restates your view. Topic sentences such as “One of the major reasons” and “Another vital factor” help signal the direction of each paragraph, while “For example” and “As a result” make relationships between claims visible. However, the progression is somewhat mechanical, and the examples do not consistently connect back to the question about the age structure of a country. Some linking is awkward or unclear, as in “therefore younger generation go to the city,” and the conclusion introduces no comparison of advantages and disadvantages. Build a clearer line of argument by linking each paragraph to the population-age issue and using transitions to compare the two sides.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “opportunities,” “modern technology,” “open-minded,” and “diversity,” and the reader can generally understand your intended points. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “better occupation” and “developed city,” but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, and spelling errors are noticeable: “icrease,” “manny,” “graduatees,” and “urbarn.” Phrases such as “younger generation people” and “other religion and culture” also show limited control of collocation and number. These issues make the writing less precise, even though the main meaning is usually recoverable. Aim for accurate, natural combinations such as “young adults,” “employment opportunities,” and “different religions and cultures,” and proofread spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a reason clause with “due to the fact that” and a relative clause in “people who are extremely different.” This shows some range, but errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation recur. For example, “This has a several benefits” has an article and number problem, while “city has been developing so rapidly, therefore younger generation go” joins clauses incorrectly and has agreement issues. “High schoolers who grew up in big cities are much more open-minded” is a clearer sentence, showing that you can communicate accurately in simpler structures. Work on complete sentence boundaries, singular and plural agreement, and article use; then check each longer sentence for a clear grammatical connection between its clauses.

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