Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

IN THE MODREN ERA, IN MANY PARTS OF THE WORLD COUNTRIES FACE A MASSIVE INCREACE IN THE POPULATION OF YOUNG ADULTS ,COMPARED WITH THE OLDER ONES. IN MY OPINION , EVEN THOUGH THAT THIS PHENOMENON HAS SOME DISADVATAGES , BUT ITS AGVATEGES OUTWEIGHT THEM.

ON THE ONE HAND, THE OLD GENERATION HAS ITS BENEFITS IN MANY PARTS OF LIFE ESPESIALLY AT WORK . FOR INSTANCE, WHEN S NEW WORKER INTER TO A COMPANY AND HE DOEASN'T KNOW HOW TO USE A MACHINE, HE WOULD ASK AN OLD WORKER FOR INFROMATION AND TO TEACH HIM ALL THE METHONDS OF WORK, BECAUSE HE HAS MORE EXPERIENCE THERE. MOREOVER, THE OLD PEOPLE PLAY A VERY IMPORTANT ROLE IN OUR DAILY LIFE, THEY KNOW MORE THINGS THAN US , THEY HAVE SOLUTIONS SOR MANY ISSUES THAT WE MAY FACE IN OUR LIFE , BECAUSE THEY HAVE ALREADY DEALED WITH THEM .

ON THE OTHER HAND, IN THIS BUSSY WORLD WE CAN RELY ON OLD PEOPLE A LOT, CAUSE WE NEED ADULTS WITH THIER ENERGY TO RUN ON ALL THIS FACTORIES IN THE WORLD. ALSO , THE WORLD ITSSELF HAS CHANGED OVER THE TIME, WE HAVE NEW TECHNOLOGY ONLY THE RECENT GENERATION KNOW HOW TO WORK WITH IT ( ROBOTS, AI, COMPUTERS...) , ALL THIS TOOLS ARE BUILD FOR USERES FROM THIS GENERATION . FURTHERMORE, MOST OF PEOPLE IN NOWADAYS USE THE INTERNET TO FIND SOLUTIONS FOR THEIR PROBLEMS, SUCH AS GOOGLE AND YOUTUBE, CAUSE THEY ARE MORE EFFICENT AND SAVE MORE TIME.

IN THE CANCLUSION , THE OLD PEOPLE HAVE THEIR BENEFITS FOR US AND WE HAVE SOMTIMES TO TAKE THEIR ADVICES IN LIFE ESPECIALLY IN THE MENTAL PART, BUT I STRLONGLY BELIEVE THAT IN THE PRESENT TIME WE CAN DEAL WITH THE MOST PROBLEMS OF THE WORLD AND MAKE IT RUN WITHOUT RELYING ON THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE JUST NEW ISSUES THAT NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE, AND THE ADVANTAGES OF HAVING MORE YOUNG ADULTS IN THE COUNTRY OVERCOME ITS DISADVATAGES.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that the advantages of a younger population outweigh the disadvantages, and you include relevant points about older workers’ experience and younger adults’ ability to use newer technology. However, the response only partly develops the comparison required by the question. The first body paragraph mainly explains the benefits of older people, rather than clearly setting out the disadvantages of having more young adults. The second paragraph offers reasons why young adults are useful, but claims such as their energy helping factories run and their reliance on online tools are broad and need specific explanation or an example. To strengthen the response, identify the disadvantages of a youthful population directly, then compare them with the benefits and support each point more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help show contrast. However, the overall progression is not consistently clear: the first body paragraph discusses older people’s benefits, while the second shifts to young adults’ advantages, without explicitly connecting these points to the question’s comparison of advantages and disadvantages. Several ideas are also joined into long sequences with commas, making relationships between claims harder to follow. The conclusion repeats the position but introduces several points at once. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s role in the argument, and make links between examples and the main claim explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “experience,” “technology,” “solutions,” and “advantages,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, sometimes making phrases difficult to interpret. Examples include “increace,” “agvateges,” “methonds,” and “efficent”; these errors reduce the clarity and accuracy of the message. Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, such as “run on all this factories” and “the mental part.” Build a more accurate set of topic phrases and check spelling carefully. Prefer precise wording, for example, “operate factories” and “emotional support,” rather than translating ideas word for word.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including clauses with “because,” “when,” and “even though,” so there is some variety. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence construction and punctuation can make the argument difficult to follow. For example, “even though that this phenomenon has some disadvantages, but…” combines two contrasting structures; use either “Although this phenomenon has disadvantages, its advantages outweigh them” or “Even though it has disadvantages, its advantages outweigh them.” Other examples include “when a new worker enter” and “the world itself has changed,” where subject–verb agreement is not controlled. Practise building accurate sentences first, then add subordinate clauses, and use full stops to separate complete ideas.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.