Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Currently the mumber of young generation is in spike point than the older people in some nation.Although, the increasing number of young peuple are getting engage in various crime and have lacking of informative advice, the vast amount of young people can contribute to the scoiety and by becoming entrepreneur they may create new job means the advantagesfar outweigh the disadvantages.

The growing number of young popolation are considered as the assets of a nation because of creating new job opportunities by entrepreneurship . Nowadays, individuals are very concern about education and skiils which ultimately help them to think about running own business, Throughout this concept they can ensure financial stability of their own and creating new post for more people. consequently this is contribution towards overall welfare of country ,when everyone get their income source they can lead a standard living and government can get rid of some tension. Another important help to the country is volunteering for social organaizations.Young person are much more energetic and anthusuastic than an old person, so they can easily go for the help of under priviliged people. for example, a organigation named VVD which consist of young people, they are working for street and slums living children even they got helped internationally

In contrast, some of young people are getting engaged in criminal activities by geeting frustrated and by lacking of useful advice. when a young person do not get a healthy environment to live , they get stuck in choosing better options . As a result, they don't get their prefereble jobs or can't fulfill any desired wish.So, they got depressed and go to a wrong way. In this case,old people may provide some advice from their own experiences.

For example, my cousin got feustrated when he were failed in one subject in board exam and decided to take a bad step,but luckily my father helped him mentally to come out from that situation.

To conclude, despite of some unwanted events, young people are essential to the society and for the country as well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You answer the question with a clear overall view: the advantages of a large young-adult population outweigh the disadvantages. The discussion is relevant, especially your points about entrepreneurship creating jobs and young people volunteering, and you acknowledge crime and the value of older people’s advice. These elements meet the task well. However, the two sides are not developed equally: the disadvantages are explained mainly through frustration and one personal example, while the benefits receive more explanation. The example of the organisation is also difficult to assess because its work and impact are not clearly described. To strengthen the response further, explain more precisely why the benefits outweigh the risks and support each main point with a clear, specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a contrasting paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. This gives the reader an overall route through your argument. You also use signposts such as “In contrast,” “As a result,” and “To conclude.” However, connections are sometimes mechanical or unclear, and some sentences contain several ideas without showing how they relate. For example, the opening moves quickly from crime and advice to social contribution and entrepreneurship. The conclusion restates the general position but does not summarise the main comparison. Use clearer topic sentences, divide long sentences where needed, and make references such as “this concept” or “this case” more specific.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “entrepreneurship,” “financial stability,” “volunteering,” and “criminal activities,” which helps communicate the main ideas. There are also attempts at less common expressions, but inaccurate word choice, spelling, and collocation are frequent enough to make parts of the response difficult to read. Examples include “in spike point,” “informative advice,” “new job means,” and “standard living”; these do not express the intended meanings naturally. Spelling errors such as “scoiety,” “popolation,” and “organaizations” also reduce clarity. Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships and checking spelling, while choosing straightforward expressions when you are unsure of a more ambitious phrase.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses with “Although,” “because,” and “when,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, complex sentences are often not controlled accurately, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries recur. For example, “The growing number of young popolation are considered” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “when a young person do not get” and “he were failed” show errors in verb form and agreement. The opening also uses “Although” in a sentence structure that does not connect correctly to the main clause. Practise building one clear main clause before adding subordinate clauses, and check agreement, tense, and punctuation in each sentence.

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