Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is argued that whether the money should spend on new fast trains or whether it should spend on existing public transport.Some people believe that money should spend on construction of new railway lines for fast trains.Both points have their own benefits.Whereas,this essay agrees with improvement on existing public transport.

On the one hand,some people believe that if we spend large sum of money on construction of new railway lines for fast trains then individuals can travel between cities in short amount of time and furthermore it also cause decrease in traffic and environment become cleaner and in addition more people attracted to trains rather than travelling by road.For example,in China there is a large network of bullet trains which runs on 400 km per hour and thousands of people travel by these train everyday which also support their economy and moreover,it is beneficial for their citizens as well.That's why,despite China having a huge population,still don't have traffic congestion on roads.

On the other hand,some people believe that if we spend large sum of money on existing public transport it can improve traffic system and people can travel more comfortably than they are traveling now a days.Whereas,i aslo agree that if we spend money on public transport it benefits more.The main reason is that normally bullet trains operates city to city in contrast public transport operates within a city.For instance,in Pakistan public transport is widely used by citizens such as metro bus and speedo these public transports are used by more than thousand of individuals per day.So if we spend money on these and make them more comfortable then more people travel on these transport which also benefits country economy.

In conclusion,both point are beneficial for country and it's citizens.Nonetheless public transport provide more benefits.Because mostly people travel inside the cities like workers,students and other people.So,that's why i agree which that point.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the discussion and state your preference for improving existing public transport in the introduction and conclusion. The reasons are relevant: faster intercity journeys and reduced road traffic support investment in high-speed rail, while the greater everyday use of local transport supports your own view. The China and Pakistan examples also help illustrate the two positions. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the claim that China has no road congestion because of bullet trains is too broad, and the economic benefit of improving Pakistan’s services needs a clearer explanation. Develop the comparison further by considering who benefits, how many people are served, and why the investment is worthwhile.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion that restates your position. This makes the main line of argument easy to identify. However, progression within sentences is sometimes weakened by repeated or awkward linking, especially the repeated use of “and furthermore,” “in addition,” and “moreover” in the first body paragraph. “Whereas” is also used where a contrast is not clearly formed, and the final sentence begins “Because” as a fragment. Use fewer connectors and make the relationship between each claim explicit. Clearer topic sentences and more direct links between examples and the argument would make the organisation smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “railway lines,” “traffic congestion,” “public transport,” and “citizens,” so the reader can follow the discussion. There are also attempts to use more specific terms such as “bullet trains” and “metro bus.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, including “large sum of money,” “make them more comfortable,” and “benefits country economy.” Some expressions, such as “fast trains,” are repeated where more precise alternatives would help. Aim to use natural collocations and check word forms and spelling; for example, “everyday” is not the right form in “travel every day,” and “aslo” is misspelled. These issues do not prevent understanding but limit precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with subordinate clauses, such as “if we spend large sum of money … then individuals can travel…” This shows some range, but control is uneven. Errors include missing articles and incorrect verb forms in “the money should spend,” “it also cause decrease,” and “bullet trains operates.” There are also agreement and sentence-boundary problems, as in “both point are beneficial” and the fragment “Because mostly people travel inside the cities.” Punctuation spacing and comma use are inconsistent, making some long sentences harder to process. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, and complete sentence construction, then divide long chains of ideas into shorter, controlled sentences.

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