Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is widely argued that some people consider it important to spend large amount of money to build railway lines for swift trains among two cities. Conversally, others are in favour that money should be spend for tge betterment of current public transport system. In my opinion, new railway lines will help to contruct a sustancial transport infrastructure rather than existing transport system.

One of the significant reason that why people consider more beneficial spending on new railway line. The modern technology has revolutionized trains system, they are very fast as compared to old trains.Moreover, these trains can not be operated on old railway lines.For instance, bullet trains are very quick and have the ability to move underground. while, Old railway line system will not support this development. Furthermore, new transport system should be introduced in cities as well to reduce the immense pressure on other type of transportation. In addition underground tunnels should me made by constructing new railway line systems.For example, people can use these train to commute to their jobs and ot will reduce traffic congestions.

It is also widely argued that, current transport system is sufficient to meed the demands. Despite spending money on new railway lines, this massive amout should be utilized for improvement of existing transport system. For instance, high budgets for new railway line structure will have impact in country's economy. For instance, if a new railway structure is constructed, as a result, fairs would increase under this infulence. On the other hand existing system need small amount of money for it renewel.

To conclude, many people have thought that it is more beneficial to spend in existing public yransport system. Although, from my perspective, nowadays it would be more beneficial to invest money on new public transport structure. While people can be more bebefitted from thus development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You discuss both proposed approaches and state a preference for new railway infrastructure in the introduction and conclusion, so the response addresses the main parts of the prompt. The first body paragraph gives relevant reasons, including faster journeys, reduced pressure on other transport, and commuting benefits. However, the case for new lines is not always clearly explained: the claim that bullet trains can “move underground” does not show why this investment is preferable, and the example about traffic congestion needs fuller development. The opposing view is also brief, relying mainly on cost and possible effects on fares. To strengthen the response, explain the benefits and drawbacks of each option more fully and make the comparison behind your opinion explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the broad direction of the argument. You also use linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Furthermore,” and “On the other hand.” However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. The first body paragraph begins with the incomplete thought “One of the significant reason that why…,” and “For instance” is repeated in the paragraph about existing transport without a clear distinction between the examples. The conclusion’s “Although” and “While” do not form clear relationships with the clauses that follow. Use fewer, more precise transitions and ensure each paragraph develops one clear line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt vocabulary suited to the topic, including “railway lines,” “public transport system,” “infrastructure,” and “traffic congestion,” and you vary some expressions rather than relying entirely on basic words. However, inaccurate word choice and collocations are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning difficult to interpret. Examples include “Conversally” for introducing the opposing view, “swift trains among two cities,” and “fairs would increase,” where the intended meaning is unclear. Spelling and word-form errors such as “sustancial,” “renewel,” and “bebefitted” also reduce precision. Build a reliable set of transport and investment collocations, and check spelling and whether each word expresses the intended meaning before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

There are attempts to use complex structures, including “Although…” and clauses introduced by “as a result,” but control is limited and many sentences contain errors. For example, “money should be spend” has an incorrect verb form, while “One of the significant reason that why…” has problems with number and clause construction. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent: “trains.Moreover” needs a space, and “while, Old railway line system…” is not correctly joined or punctuated. The final sentences beginning “Although” and “While” are incomplete or poorly connected. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check subject–verb agreement, articles, verb forms, and punctuation.

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