Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

in multiple countries most of the individuals believe that its significant pay out of money to built up the railways lines in order to move fast from one city to another while other argue that the community transport system should be enhanced which is already part of the system. local traveling must be consider seriously to take note on as most of community uses local transport for their work , school and shopping.

overall the government should payout large amount to stabilize the local transport system instead of laying extended railways among the c

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response is significantly under-length at only 94 words, failing to meet the 250-word minimum requirement. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. While the prompt asks to discuss both views and provide an opinion, the development is severely limited. The arguments are presented in a very brief, fragmented manner, and the essay ends abruptly mid-sentence. To achieve a higher band, you must expand on your ideas with specific examples, explanations, and a clear structure that includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The current lack of development prevents a full exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response lacks a clear structure. There is no paragraphing, which is essential for organizing ideas in an essay. The flow of ideas is disjointed, and the transition between the two viewpoints is abrupt. Cohesive devices are largely absent, making the text feel like a collection of loosely related sentences rather than a cohesive argument. To improve, you should use clear paragraph breaks for each main idea and employ linking words such as 'furthermore,' 'however,' or 'consequently' to guide the reader through your reasoning.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, often relying on imprecise phrasing. For example, 'pay out of money' is non-standard, and 'built up the railways lines' is grammatically awkward. There is little evidence of a range of vocabulary suitable for an academic task. To improve, you should focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to transport and infrastructure, such as 'high-speed rail networks' or 'urban public transit systems,' and work on using more precise verbs instead of generic ones like 'pay out' or 'take note on.'

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('most of the individuals believe that its significant'), incorrect word forms ('built up' instead of 'building'), and missing articles. The sentence structures are simple and often fragmented. There is no attempt at complex sentence structures, which are necessary for higher band scores. You should focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct verb tenses and the appropriate use of articles, before attempting more complex grammatical structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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