Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The sweltering concern of the past few decades that has been risen with the avert of modernity is the proper distribution of government fuctiom and their sheer attention to divert aspects, that gives a sound of feedback to a country, however in the field two cross-statement exist, a bunch argue that it is important to consume huge capital on the development of new railway tracks for fast trains between different cities, while other object by saying that the money should invest on the anhancement of the current public transport. This eassy will analyze both these opinions before any conclusion could be drawn.

The utmost cosideration is that a group claim that a huge amount of money should spent on the building new railways line for fast trains, as it improve the quality of public transport and faster than any other transport vechile. and as a result there will be growth in imployments in a county and can reduce traveling hours.

The second compelling argument is that, others deny the above statements by saying that a huge capital should save for other necessary needs and only a small amount of money should spen on the improvement on the existing public transport. as a result, it can save the public money and can spend to improve the other fields such as education, health, and military use which can significiant for the military power.

Moving towards remedies, the most effective way to address this issue is that, such huge amount of money should spend on different fields of a country rather than spending on a particular area. and as can be helpful for the progress and prosperity of a country.

Following the analyzation of the above points, it is crystal clear fact that money should spend in various departments of a country. As it is opined that it can be helpfull for the development of a county is the

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on spending money on high-speed rail versus improving existing public transport, and offers a personal opinion, although the stance is somewhat broad. Ideas are presented, such as employment growth and the allocation of funds to education and health, but they remain relatively under-developed and lack extended specific examples. The introduction and conclusion are quite repetitive in stating that money should be distributed across various departments rather than focusing on a single area. Consequently, the development of ideas aligns most closely with Band 5, where the task is addressed, but the position and supporting points are somewhat limited.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay displays an attempt at organization, utilizing paragraph breaks to separate the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there is no clear overall progression of ideas, and transitions between paragraphs feel mechanical or disjointed, such as 'Moving towards remedies' and 'Following the analyzation of the above points'. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately at times, and referencing is occasionally unclear, which impedes the smooth flow of the text. Furthermore, the concluding sentence is left abruptly incomplete ('is the'). These features are characteristic of Band 5, where some organizational structure is present, but overall progression and cohesive management fall short of higher bands.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is limited and contains numerous errors in word choice and spelling that frequently impede communication. Examples include 'fuctiom' instead of functions, 'divert aspects' instead of diverse aspects, 'cross-statement' instead of contrasting views, 'anhancement' instead of enhancement, 'eassy' instead of essay, 'cosideration' instead of consideration, 'imployments' instead of employment, and 'significiant' instead of significant. While the writer attempts some less common vocabulary, the high frequency of lexical and spelling errors places this response securely at Band 4, where basic vocabulary is marred by frequent errors that strain the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The writer attempts complex sentence structures, but these attempts are frequently faulty and obscure the intended meaning. Examples of grammatical errors include 'The sweltering concern... that has been risen with the avert of modernity', 'others object by saying that the money should invest', and 'a huge amount of money should spent'. Punctuation is also problematic, including sentence fragments such as 'and as a result there will be growth...'. These frequent errors in grammar and structure cause considerable difficulty for the reader, matching the descriptors for Band 4, where a very limited range of structures is used and errors are frequent enough to distort meaning.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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