Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is argued that number of countries to spend larger amount of money foe new railway lines for every fast train betwen cities. I am agree with the statement of this essay.

Firstly, the paramount reason is that train use less time to travel incase of bus. road is a lot of many traffic that is not controlled easily but train track is clear and speed is to hogh as compared to bus. train contains large amomt of passenger at a time. Now pakistani government pay many attention to improve transport. When country had better transport system no anyone to stop from progress. Government should necessary to spend high amount of money on constructing uograde railway line for very fast train between cities and counteries.

Take an example of Orange line train that is contain only lahore i am travelled many time that is very peaceful and use less time as bus. ITs ticket is just 30 rupees and travell to all station as you wish. the underground track is a good decision of the government of punjab that is not create distarbance for other transport like bus, cars, and bike etc.

secondly, travel on bus is nush helpfull to passengers. Pakistan is a poor country that is not afford railway track on whole country therfore, Government of pakistan distribute eletric buses at the time then valuse of petrol is not afford by poor people. many people jobs out of cities they can not afford their vehicle that \s ehy they used public transpot easy and reasonable price.

Take an example of metro busses who travell main cities in the pakistan. Ticket of metro is just 30 rupess from jajumatta to shadrah. Amount of busses as around 60 but it is not enough ammiunt of passenger is very high who travelled only to Lahore at a time. there is a track that can only travell metro buss. Government distributes many busses like metro, speedo and electro etc.

In conclusion, passengers are travelled to train for save time and journey peasceful and travell to buss didnot have a station nearby their location.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.0
Lexical Resource4.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy4.0
Overall4.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to discuss both views regarding spending money on high-speed rail versus improving existing public transport, and it provides a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat confused. The writer mentions trains being faster and carrying more passengers, and also discusses buses in Pakistan, but the arguments lack clear depth and structure. The position is stated at the beginning, yet the distinction between constructing new high-speed rail and upgrading existing transport becomes blurred with local bus examples. Consequently, the task is addressed only partially, aligning with the criteria for Band 5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay demonstrates some organization with basic paragraphing, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas throughout the response. Cohesive devices are frequently misused, repetitive, or inadequate (e.g., overusing 'Firstly', 'secondly', and 'Take an example of'). Referencing is often unclear, such as pronoun use in 'that is contain only lahore i am travelled many time'. Paragraphs lack clear topic sentences, and the overall flow is disjointed, which pulls the score down into the Band 4.5 to 5.0 range. Band 5 is awarded as there is a basic attempt to group ideas into paragraphs, despite faulty cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with numerous spelling and word-choice errors that occasionally impede communication. Examples of errors include 'foe' instead of 'for', 'betwen' between, 'hogh' high, 'amomt' amount, 'uograde' upgraded, 'distarbance' disturbance, 'nush' much, 'eletric' electric, 'valuse' value, 'tunnels/tracks', and 'jajumatta'. While the writer attempts some less common terms like 'paramount reason' and 'peaceful', the high frequency of lexical and spelling inaccuracies restricts the score to Band 4.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammar is characterized by a very limited range of structures, with frequent errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, articles, and sentence construction. Simple sentences are often faulty, and attempts at complex sentences lead to severe grammatical breakdowns, such as in 'When country had better transport system no anyone to stop from progress' and 'passengers are travelled to train for save time'. Punctuation and capitalization are also erratic throughout the text. These frequent errors cause significant difficulty for the reader, placing the response firmly in Band 4.0.

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