Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that government should allocate more funds towards developing new railway lines, so that people can travel between cities on fast trains. While, the others disagree with this opinion. I also completely disagree with this idea. This essay will discuss both views while presenting my own opinion.

One major reason why some people support this view is because they believe that improving the existing transport will consume a lot more time than constructing new railway lines. Moreover, improving not only requires temporary halt in public transport but also requires multiple approvals and permissions from the authorities. For example, developing the existing railway lines from Mangalore to Goa will take a lot of time and needs alternative travel routes along with the permission from both states. As a result, constructing new lines can be done more quickly and efficiently.

In contrast, the others argue that instead of spending money on constructing new railway lines, the government can focus on developing the existing ones. They believe that maintaining and improving the current public transport, the government can save a lot of money and the budget can be allocated elsewhere. For instance, if a condition of an existing railway station is deteriorating, the government should try improving this rather than constructing a new station. Consquently, it leads to more savings in the official treasury.

In conclusion, although some people argue that spending a massive budget on constructing new railway lines is necessary. I completely disagree with this opinion, as I believe that existing public transport can be improved with right planning and execution.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the view supporting new high-speed railway construction and the view favouring the improvement of existing public transport. You also present a clear position from the introduction through to the conclusion, stating your disagreement with constructing new lines and supporting the enhancement of current systems. However, your arguments, particularly regarding why new lines are faster or why existing systems save money, are somewhat limited and could be extended further with more robust supporting examples. For instance, the example about Mangalore to Goa is relevant, but it lacks broader economic or logistical depth. Nevertheless, the main requirements of the task are appropriately covered, aligning well with the Band 6 descriptors where all parts are addressed with relevant, albeit slightly under-developed, ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

Your essay demonstrates a generally coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph structure. You introduce the topic and state your position in the first paragraph, dedicate body paragraphs to opposing views, and provide a summary conclusion. Cohesive devices are employed to guide the reader through your arguments, such as 'One major reason', 'In contrast', 'As a result', and 'In conclusion'. However, there are some minor mechanical issues with cohesion and referencing. For instance, the transition 'While, the others disagree with this opinion' uses unnecessary punctuation and a dangling clause, and the phrase 'the others' lacks a clear antecedent. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, but logical progression could be smoother. This places your performance firmly at Band 6, where cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You display an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common words and phrases such as 'allocate more funds', 'deteriorating', and 'official treasury'. However, there are notable instances of imprecise word choice and lexical errors that slightly detract from the quality. For example, writing 'maintaining and improving the current public transport, the government can save' misses a preposition, and 'Consquently' contains a spelling error. Furthermore, phrases like 'a condition of an existing railway station' sound slightly unnatural compared to 'the condition of existing railway stations'. Despite these shortcomings, your vocabulary is sufficient to communicate your ideas adequately, meeting the criteria for a Band 6 where an adequate range is used with occasional word choice and spelling errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating your ability to construct subordinate clauses and conditional structures, such as 'if a condition of an existing railway station is deteriorating, the government should try improving this'. However, your writing contains several grammatical errors and punctuation lapses. For example, 'While, the others disagree with this opinion' features an incorrect comma and a sentence fragment. Additionally, your concluding sentence contains a punctuation error that splits a dependent clause from the main clause: '...constructing new railway lines is necessary. I completely disagree...'. Despite these frequent errors, they rarely impede overall communication, meaning your grammar aligns with the Band 6 descriptor where a mix of structures is used alongside some persistent errors.

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