Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

From my prespective, better idea of improving public transport because many people use public transport and he face a many difficulties likes traffices and accident due to road damage so money spent to contructing a road and some investment to improve railways track but not too much spent money there.

Primilarly, now-a-days people mostly travel for road because they thought road is safely and enjoy many things to travel in this area howver he face a many difficulty like noise pollution, traffice, and also accident. I think goverment collect too much money taxes for road so they constructing te new roads to help the mostly cars travel smoothly and not too much accident. Futhermore, people mostly use public transport emergency, he go to hospital for medicine and he not travel well becauuse the road are very damage and not time to get appoinment and not operate timely so they died. Therefore goverment to take responsibility to improve existing public transport.

In additionly, Goverment spent more money for constructing to railways track and improve their also improve fast trains. I think people for travel in trains he just shortage of money because if he had an emergency he get a taxi and direct put on your location then its not spent to much money for contructing in railway track. Futhermore,they get spent more money on engines then he also spent money for breaking sysytem because train is speed fast then the stop force is so much strong then i think money spent in railways is waste of money.

In conclusion, From my prespective, spent more money in public transport as well as raiwalys station beacuse they improve road and stops traffice and also accident.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt partially, discussing both building fast train networks and improving existing public transport, and manages to express a personal opinion in the introduction and conclusion. However, the ideas remain limited and under-developed. For instance, the argument that people only travel by train if they have a shortage of money is underdeveloped and lacks clear, logical support. Furthermore, some parts of the discussion wander into unrelated issues, such as detailing emergency trips to the hospital and stopping forces of train engines, which detracts from the main task. To move to a higher level, the writer needs to present fully developed main ideas supported by relevant, well-reasoned explanations and examples rather than jumping between loosely connected points.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The essay displays some overall organization with paragraph breaks and basic connecting words such as 'Primilarly', 'Futhermore', and 'In conclusion'. However, there is no clear overall progression, and the logical flow is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions and confusing referencing, such as using 'he' or 'they' ambiguously to refer to people in general. Cohesive devices are often inadequate or inaccurate, resulting in mechanical and repetitive links between sentences. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion within paragraphs lacks clarity. To improve, the writer must ensure that sentences follow each other in a logical sequence, use referencing pronouns precisely, and employ a wider, more natural variety of cohesive devices to guide the reader smoothly through the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts some less common words, such as 'prespective', 'contructing', and 'sysytem', but these attempts are frequently marred by noticeable spelling and word-form errors. There are also instances of poor word choice and collocation, such as 'spent money for contructing in railway track' and 'direct put on your location'. These lexical inaccuracies and frequent spelling errors cause some difficulty for the reader and impede smooth communication. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to expand their vocabulary range, learn correct word forms and collocations, and pay closer attention to basic spelling accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and basic coordination. When the writer attempts complex sentence forms, they are frequently faulty, leading to a high frequency of grammatical errors that can cause difficulty for the reader. There are persistent errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions within grammatical patterns, such as 'money spent to contructing a road' and 'train is speed fast then the stop force is so much strong'. Punctuation is also weak, resulting in run-on sentences. To progress, the writer must work on mastering basic sentence structures, ensuring correct verb forms and agreements, and reducing the frequency of foundational grammatical errors.

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