Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is true that many people around the world think that they should spend large amount of money on constructing railway tracks in order to make this transport faster and people could reach to their places more quickly. While some people think that they should spend more money on improving existing public transport.

On the one hand, Improving the railway tracks would be a great advantage for all of us because a lot of people wants to reach across the cities quickly and this would be a wonderful opportunity for us to spend money on railways tracks because there are some countries in which railway tracks have been constructed which are more efficient than before and are quite impressive. For instance, the bullet train in japan which moves up to 200 km/h and even faster. One major benefit of spending money on railway tracks will be the biggest opportunity for those people who can't afford such expensive airplane transports and will be able to easily reach to their destinations quickly and this would make our lives more convenient.

One the other hand, if we talk about the other opinion of people those who wants to spend more money on existing public transport can be also an advantageous step for us. But the thing to be noted is there should be strict laws for highways and routes in order to reduce the chances of accidents and large traffics. Which is a common problem in many countries.

In conclusion, I would love to mention that spending more money on constructing the railway tracks in order to make them more efficient would be much more beneficial for us to reach our destination on time as this would be a great convenience for all of us.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both constructing fast railway lines and improving existing public transport, and it concludes with a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas remains limited and under-developed. For instance, the discussion on the bullet train in Japan is superficial and lacks extension. Furthermore, the counter-argument regarding existing public transport is brief and shifts abruptly into mentioning strict laws for highways and traffic control rather than fully exploring the benefits of upgrading current buses and local transit. To move to a higher level, the writer needs to present fully extended and supported ideas for both views rather than relying on generalisations and repetitive points about convenience.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some organisation in the essay, as the main points are divided into distinct paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there is no clear overall progression; the flow between ideas feels repetitive and mechanical. Cohesive devices are often inadequate or inaccurate, such as using 'One the other hand' instead of 'On the other hand', and repeating phrase patterns like 'spending more money on constructing railway tracks' multiple times without effective substitution or referencing. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion lacks flexibility. To improve, the writer should ensure logical transitions between sentences and use a wider variety of cohesive markers correctly to guide the reader smoothly through the arguments.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'efficient', 'convenient', and 'advantageous', but there are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'expensive airplane transports' instead of 'air travel' or 'airline transport', and 'large traffics' instead of 'heavy traffic'. Additionally, there are minor slips in word forms, such as 'wants' instead of 'want' when referring to plural subjects. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to expand their lexical range, demonstrate more precise control over word choice and collocations, and minimise word-formation errors so that vocabulary supports precise communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing shows a limited range of sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that can cause difficulty for the reader, including persistent agreement errors ('people wants', 'those who wants'), incorrect prepositions within grammatical patterns ('reach to their places'), and run-on structures or sentence fragments like 'Which is a common problem in many countries.' Articles and pluralisation are also inconsistently handled throughout the text. To reach the next level, the writer must demonstrate better control over basic and complex sentence forms, reduce frequency of grammatical errors, and ensure accurate punctuation and subject-verb agreement across all sentences.

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