Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many countries, the population has increase, and this has simultaneously affect the demand for public transportation. Some peple conted that it is essential to allocate more funds on constructing new railway lines between cities, while others believe that the money should be spent on improving the existing public transport system. This essay will examine both views and provide my own opinion.

To begin with, In large cities there is a high demand of public transportation, and many people believe that new railway lines should be constructed. As building a new railway system has noticeable benefits for local people. For example, this transportation can reduce travel time compared to other modes of transport. Moreover, it is more convenient and environmentally friendly, as it can help to reduce the use of fossil fuel emissions.

On the other hand, a significant to number of people believe that it is better to allocate funds to enhance the existing public transport system, as it does not require as much money to improve the current network. In addition, improving the existing network can help to prevent traffic congestion on roads. For instance, in some western countries traffic congestion has been reduced by encouraging individuals to use bicycles to their workplace more frequently in urban areas.

In conclusion, from my perspective, I strongly believe that both approaches can help to reduce the demand on public transportation while providing convenience and satisfaction to people. Although making new railway lines may decrease the load on other transport modes in large nations, better urban planning in the future will be essential to prevent city congestion.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a personal position, so the response is relevant to the task. The first view is supported with benefits such as shorter travel times and reduced reliance on fossil fuels, while the second is linked to lower costs and less road congestion. However, the discussion is uneven: the case for new intercity rail is explained more clearly than the case for improving existing transport, and the bicycle example does not directly show how investment in public transport would help. Your conclusion also says both approaches can reduce demand, but does not clearly decide which should receive priority. Develop the comparison with a specific example and state your preference more decisively.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow. This organisation is effective, and the ideas are generally grouped appropriately. Some linking is mechanical, however, and the opening sentence of the first body paragraph is followed by the fragment “As building a new railway system has noticeable benefits,” which interrupts the flow. The conclusion also introduces “better urban planning” without connecting it clearly to the preceding discussion. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make the relationships between claims, examples, and your final position more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “railway lines,” “traffic congestion,” “fossil fuel emissions,” and “urban planning.” These terms help communicate the main ideas, and attempts such as “allocate funds” and “enhance” show some range beyond basic wording. There are, however, several spelling and word-choice errors, including “peple,” “conted,” and “a significant to number.” Some collocations are also imprecise: “demand on public transportation” and “reduce the use of fossil fuel emissions” do not express the intended ideas naturally. Aim for accurate, conventional combinations and proofread spelling; this will make your vocabulary more precise without requiring unnecessarily complex words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including a relative clause in “as it can help to reduce…” and a concessive structure beginning “Although making new railway lines…”. Meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “the population has increase” needs a past participle, and “this has simultaneously affect” has an incorrect verb form. “As building a new railway system has noticeable benefits” is a sentence fragment, while “a high demand of public transportation” shows an inaccurate article/preposition pattern. Check subject–verb forms, sentence completeness, and prepositions when editing. More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen control while preserving your current range.

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