Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Basically if you are taking my opinion i will choose to spend money on both things because if i m talking about PAKISTAN i will prefer both because in Railway stations, there was no opportunities for a traveler or the persons who waitt there the was no bench for sitting in waiting area and the ticket offices are so dirty and in such a bad condition

In public transport, there was no manner to a drivers and they doesn't know how to behave with passengers. In punjab our CM arranged the green buses and that is a good work and i appreciated this work but if we see that buses the drivers was overspending and they didn't caree about other persons

thee area where the passengers waittt for bus, theerre was no bench and if we are talking about canteen or shop for tge passengers to take some snacks when they are hungry after waiting too long fo bus

So in my opinion i prefer both places where our government had to spend the money for our citizens who face many crisis in both places

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a clear personal preference for spending money on both areas and include relevant examples from Pakistan, such as poor railway-station facilities and problems with bus drivers. However, the response only minimally addresses the discussion: it does not explain the case for building very fast intercity railway lines, and the benefits of improving existing transport are described mainly through facilities and service problems. The examples are also not developed into reasons showing how either investment would help citizens. The response is 185 words, below the required 250, which limits the opportunity to discuss both views and support your position. To improve, explain the advantages of each option, compare them, and develop your opinion with specific consequences or examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic sequence from your opinion to railway stations, buses, and a concluding preference for both, so the reader can identify the main topic. However, the ideas are not arranged into clear, purposeful paragraphs, and several points run together in long sentences. Connections between examples and your overall argument are often unclear; for instance, the discussion of the green buses shifts from praising the project to criticizing driver behaviour without explaining how this supports your position. The conclusion repeats the preference but does not draw together the two sides. Use separate paragraphs for the two views and your opinion, and connect each example explicitly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is basic but includes some relevant topic words, such as “railway stations,” “public transport,” “passengers,” and “ticket offices.” These help communicate the general subject. However, the range is repetitive and several word choices or spellings make the message less clear, including “there was no opportunities,” “overspending” for the drivers’ behaviour, and repeated forms such as “waittt.” Some phrases are also imprecise, such as “no manner to a drivers,” where you appear to mean that drivers behave rudely or unprofessionally. Build a more precise set of transport-related expressions and check spelling and collocations. This would help you explain benefits and problems rather than relying mainly on general descriptions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to express connected ideas and give reasons, but sentence structures are mostly simple or joined into long, loosely controlled sentences. Errors in agreement and verb forms occur frequently, as in “there was no opportunities,” “they doesn't know,” and “the drivers was overspending.” Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention; for example, the opening runs several ideas together without clear punctuation. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow, although the general meaning can usually be understood. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using controlled clauses such as “Although…,” “because…,” and “which…”. Check subject–verb agreement and past versus present forms when editing.

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